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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Focus On Where You Want to Be, Not Where You Fear Ending Up

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I just couldn’t seem to get it right.

My body was in the correct position. My muscles were contracted. But every time I tried to find my balance, I would wobble and fall back onto my feet.

“Maybe you just can’t do crow pose,” I told myself.

“Bullshit,” I replied.

For months, I kept trying. During one practice session, I grabbed a pillow off my couch, placed it on the floor in front of me and promptly nailed the pose. never even coming close to face-planting in the pillow.

Curious, I removed the pillow and tried again.

No bueno.

It was then I realized the role that pillow was playing. Because the pillow was uncomfortably close to my face, I craned my neck slightly and shifted my gaze forward. Without the pillow, I was looking down at the ground, which was exactly the place I feared ending up.

 

Focus on where you want to be, not where you fear ending up.

 

It seems so simple, doesn’t it? Yet, it’s far from easy.

We all have a tendency to put our focus – our energy – on those things that we fear.

And much like a new driver who instinctively steers into an adjacent lane when looking in the sideview mirror, we tend to move in the direction of our focus.

Where are you looking?

 

 

 

 

 

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