This is Different

I have words in my head again that want to get out. That are demanding to get out, in fact.

But they won’t be shared here. At least not yet.

For the last several years, I’ve poured myself into my published writings. I made a commitment to myself in the beginning that I would always be real. Raw. Uncensored and authentic.

And I have been open and honest in everything I’ve shared about my first marriage, my divorce, my healing process and my second marriage. I didn’t have to worry about a need for privacy because it was either about my own issues or about the (many) issues of he-who-shall-not-be-named.

This is different. For the sake of privacy, there’s a lot that I’m not comfortable sharing in a public forum without performing literary acrobatics that would polish away any rough edges and, I’m afraid, tinge my words with inauthenticity.

And just like I won’t threaten what is being mended by sharing too much, I also refuse to write what isn’t real. So some of those demanding words will be locked away for now, with the continued result of less frequent posts. However, as my world is slowly coming back into focus, some of those words and thoughts will weave themselves into other posts. Hopefully with increasing frequency. Especially because a lot of what I’m dealing with is so common (and often only shared in guarded whispers).

Several of you have expressed for concern for me. And I appreciate it. More than you even know. I’m okay and things are getting better. As I often advise, I’m making self-care a priority right now. And it feels good.

All this is a good reminder that when we get so focused on taking care of others, we can lose track of ourselves.

And that knowing things and recognizing them in others does not mean that you’ll see it in your own home and automatically put your knowledge into action.

A good reminder that life is all about learning and growing and doing better. Both by ourselves and for ourselves and with and for others.

It looks like I was onto something when I chose my screen name stilllearning2b all those years ago. Because I’ve learned a lot since then and in many ways, I feel like I’m just starting to learn.

And as always, I’ll keep you posted on my lessons. As long as I can be real about them. Thanks for joining me on the journey:)