I’m Still Learning

When I first started writing, I elected to be anonymous. Tasked with selecting a screen name that was both descriptive and inclusive, I settled on stilllearning2b.

And these past few weeks have been a (often painful) reminder that I am indeed still learning.

I am still learning to be in the moment and not to let my mental demons hijack a runaway train into an imagined future.

I am still learning to listen with curiosity rather than fear and to silence the self-induced panic.

I am still learning how to differentiate between spilled milk and an oncoming milk truck.

I am still learning how to develop a teflon skin that sloughs off perceived insults rather than soaking them up.

I am still learning how to separate what I provide to others from my worth to others.

I am still learning how to face disagreements without defensiveness or retreat.

I am still learning that it is not my job to ensure that others are happy.

I am still learning not to internalize every word and action around me.

I am still learning how to recognize and bleed my excess anxiety.

I am still learning to trust myself.

And I’m amazingly grateful that I have a husband that never fails to remind me of our household motto:

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