Love With a Ten-Foot Pole

5 Responses

  1. zombiedrew2 says:

    I agree 100%. When people attempt to “protect themselves” from being hurt again, all they are doing is ensuring that they will never be able to experience love fully.

  2. kayjcee2014 says:

    Reblogged this on surfacing-finding your way after a divorce and commented:
    Something I struggle with, being able to trust someone again. Great blog

  3. hopingtoheal says:

    Reblogged this on healingafterhisaffair and commented:
    Common sense, yet very profound. A good reminder today. I’ve let fear control me. I’ve tried to control so much in my life. I thought control would give me the outcome I wanted. I thought control would prevent my worst fears from becoming my reality. I thought control would keep my husband faithful. I’ve learned that I can’t control life. I definitely can’t control anyone else on this planet besides myself. In my effort to avoid pain, I didn’t give myself completely to my husband. Even before his affair. I carried pain from a previous relationship into my marriage. I held a secret for 20 years. I never allowed myself to be vulnerable, as I vowed I wouldn’t be a victim again. I thought he couldn’t hurt me if I never let him all the way in. What I’ve learned now is that I’m not a victim if I give love to someone. I’m not a victim if I allow them to love me. I’m not a victim if I make myself vulnerable. Yes, I may get hurt but I’m not a victim. The reality is that anyone we love has the potential to hurt us – and most likely will (spouses, parents, kids, etc). But I’m not a victim. But keeping loved ones at a distance also keeps the love at a distance. You miss out on a true, deep, intimate connection. And that, is a very sad way to live.
    I have learned that my marriage definitely doesn’t have a chance if I love at a distance. I have learned that to truly reconcile I need to forgive and learn to let the past go. I need to learn to live in the moment. Not giving the past any more power, nor worrying about the future. Just take each day as it comes. Damn, that’s hard for me. I’m a classic worrier and over thinker, much to my own demise. Worrying doesn’t stop bad things from happening, it just robs you from enjoying the good.
    Here’s to adopting a new attitude about fear and control. Here’s to looking at life in a new way. I know this won’t happen over night. I know this will take alot of effort and thought. I know it will be challenging and scary. I know I will want to revert to old ways that feel safer in the moment. I also know that I can do this. I’ve got this! Without great risk, there is no great reward, right?

  4. maryfran03 says:

    It certainly is true that when you love you have to be all in or it isn’t love at all. I don’t think I’m quite ready to let someone in yet, but I want to be some day.

  5. Reblogged this on Starting At The Start and commented:
    Very true…the more you hide away your feelings the harder it is for someone to love you

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