Choose to Be a Student of Life: Thriving After Divorce

When my own tsunami divorce occurred, I felt alone. There were no resources that seemed to speak to my experience – brutal betrayal, sudden abandonment and the shocking discovery that I really didn’t know the man I was married to.

This blog, born from pain and carried through recovery, is the How-to-Thrive Guide that I wish I had after divorce.  It is a place of support, understanding and practical ideas passed down from my own struggles and discoveries. I hope that through these posts, you can find hope, healing and inspiration.

You did not choose what happened to you, but you always have a choice.

13 thoughts on “Choose to Be a Student of Life: Thriving After Divorce

  1. Not sure if this will find you but I was hoping to let you know, your words I stumbled across tonight were super impactful to me. You wrote, “Forgiveness isn’t a pardon. It acknowledges the wrongs and then wraps them in compassion and acceptance. Forgiveness is an inside job, quietly accepting the apology you never received.

    Forgiveness is a difficult road. But you’re worth it.

    I needed to read that tonight and felt very compelled to find the writer and thank them. Hope this finds you.

  2. I wake up so sad every morning scared not wanting this life alone. My ex left me for my good friend. We share children. It’s so hard. I’m worried I will never be happy again. It’s been one and a half years. My anxiety and sadness is terrible. I don’t know what to do.

    1. That is especially hard when there are kids involved and the other person was a friend. I am so sorry you’re having to deal with this.

      What have you tried or what are you currently trying to help with the sadness and anxiety?

  3. Going on more then two years ,he already move on did his life lives with some one & I can’t seem to let go.. I keep my self busy ,jog every morning really don’t have time but in the back of my mind he is always there..making sure I hear & see him happy. Hurting me every possible way..

    1. Feel exactly the same, almost two years for me. At least I know I am not alone. Do me a favour. Every time you go for a jog and those painful thoughts are coming back to you, think of a stranger who knows and cares how you feel. There is a life for you out there and I know you deserve better . Hang in there, it takes time and that’s all we really have is TIME.

  4. Thank you for writing your blog, I have just stumbled across your ‘Don’t take divorce personally’, these were the words I had heard before and am entering into this draft petition with that in mind. It doesn’t matter what is written on a piece of paper, they are only words and nobody cares in the end, right?

    1. Yes one did care. One was faithful and meant their vows. If you mean the one that left and had an affair then I guess those words didn’t mean much but they meant alot to me

      1. I completely agree. My vows meant a lot to me too. We had some major communication problems this last year but I now understand where I was wrong in not addressing these problems before we got to here. What bothers me most is i can’t understand how having an affair was her first option without even making one effort to make things better between us. And how she blatently flaunts it in front of me (and the kids) now. For us the affair was only discovered 5 weeks ago and we are under the same roof while we collect our info for a separation agreement. It’s seems like me finding out was what she needed to send her affair into overdrive. It goes so far beyond selfish. It feels like she is trying to hurt me with all of her actions but then talks to me like we are best of friends. I’m so torn apart I never want to love anyone ever again. It’s not worth the pain.

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