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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

The Problem With, “I Can’t Wait For it to Be Over”

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“December 31st can’t get here soon enough!”

“2019 just needs to end already!”

“I can’t wait for this year to be over!”

I’m reading and hearing these refrains on an ever-increasing basis. And sometimes I even find myself agreeing. At least in the moment.

But then, I think about other times I’ve felt that way – waiting for my divorce to be finalized, waiting for a particularly tedious plane trip to end or waiting for a difficult school year to wrap.

And I change my mind about wanting to hurry up and get 2019 over with.

When we focus on the end, we neglect to be in the present.

When we label something as “bad,” we have tendency to overlook the good. Whatever you nurture, grows.

When we assign happiness and success to external things, we neglect to make the internal changes needed to do better once the external circumstances change.

Like any other year (or any other thing at all), 2019 has had both good and not-so-good times. It’s not the worst, it’s not the best. It’s a Jackson Pollock of them both. Stand too close and all you see are the individual spots of joy and suffering. But stand back and take it all in and you see the bigger picture. It’s best to spend time at both vantage points.

As we enter the final hours of 2019…

Take time to remember and be grateful for the beautiful moments the year had to offer. And think about how you can cultivate those in the months to come.

Be present and mindful in these final hours of the year. Practice letting go of expectations and nurturing acceptance.

Refrain from assigning any magical powers to a new number. If you want different, be different.

 

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2 thoughts on “The Problem With, “I Can’t Wait For it to Be Over”

  1. Mindfulness exercise. I was glad to kick 2019 to the curb and rid myself of the pain in brought but I do agree! Be in the moment mindful appreciating your present . We can look forward too .. thanks for the blog. It’s helping me navigate this journey

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