A Letter to My Ex On the Eve of My Wedding

13 Responses

  1. This is an amazing letter. So well expressed.

  2. Very powerful and so well thought out. You were much more generous than I ever could be

  3. Mary Lou says:

    Every relationship is a part of our story. Each teaches a life lesson about ourselves and others.
    P.S. I’ve been looking for wisdom on how to be there for my adult children as their father (my ex) comes to the end of his life. Do you have anything on that?

    • stilllearning2b says:


      I’m sorry that your kids will have to say goodbye to their dad soon. I don’t have anything in particular, but I think just being there to listen to them without judgment would be helpful. They may ask questions about his younger self or want to relieve good memories. They may see him more favorably or become angry at certain things. At the end, we often try to make sense of the entire life.

      • Mary Lou says:

        Thank you. He and his sons have been estranged for years. It saddens me. I hope to just be there and listen if they need that. I’ve encouraged them to write about it as I have where I shared the good and the bad along with lessons learned.

  4. CJ says:

    Wonder if I will have to write a letter like that if my current marriage doesn’t heal and reconnect.

    • stilllearning2b says:

      Perhaps. One of the thoughts I’ve found comfort in is that any marriage of any duration is actually many relationships as we change. Some people have those relationships with a single person. Others, with more than one.

  5. janieleeds says:

    Well Done! 🙂

  6. Anonymous says:

    It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’ve been blindsided by numerous lies, and attrocities accompanied by being stripped of your integrity from false accusations and blatant disregard of respect and emotions. This is putting it lightly. Over the course of the past 6 months I’ve c one to find out the my wife, whom I’ve been with for 16 years and married for 10 of those years, has led a double life ever since I’ve known her. I’m writing a book and I’m telling you guys it will blow your mind how she hid her 2nd life and I’m sure she believes her anonimity is still safe.
    She’s had our children, both bow the age of 10, put in protective foster care. I’ve lost my house, my cloths, my tools, my friends, my neighbors, my insurance, thousands of dollars, and more.
    What’s I’m finally forcing my self to do is stay motivated, goal oriented be focused on getting my kids back, providing the courts and law enforcement substantial credible evidence, being nice to others but with boundaries, letting go of a myth, a bad dream I once saw as a fairytale.
    Yes, If I didnt before, I most CERTAINLY have trust issues now. I used to be a confident husky quick talking salesman type. I’ve always been generous and kind but almost to a fault. Ive changed and will now alllow myself to grow. I’m going to hurt from this for a long time. I’m always looking for inspiration or advice and love to do the same for others. Im choosing to forgive (eventually) rather than let this control me. I know who I am and have always been grateful for what I am at heart. If anyone considering splitting or divorcing I suggest that you stop being angry and start trying harder. You loved each other once.. get back to that place.
    No excuses, no arguing, no drama, and NO. interference from others period. YOU know what you want and love better than they ever will. It’s worth it.. Deep breath.. you got this.
    My name… is Alex Ramirez and you WILL be hearing more of this experience soon.
    Bless all of you! ,🙏❤️✌️⚓

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