Five Eye-Opening Truths About Divorcing With Kids

9 Responses

  1. Patrick says:

    The impact for adult children is also complex and just as damaging. I have two, a daughter and son, and being like night and day, they each responded differently but both were manipulated by their mom (neither was strong enough to say no) and each time I had to say no to their request(s). Bottom line is that one parent, or both, should make their children their ally nor use them as weapons in their real or made up battle with their former spouse.

  2. Patrick says:

    correction “should NOT make their children their ally”

  3. ifonlymommy says:

    I do know these but I’m surprised at how many people don’t. Kids come first.

  4. Caterina Arends says:

    So, how did I do? I hope, well.

    On Thu, Apr 6, 2017 at 10:05 AM Lessons From the End of a Marriage wrote:

    > stilllearning2b posted: “There’s a lot you know about how to divorce with > kids. Yet there are some realities that still may surprise you. Are you > aware of these five eye-opening truths?” >

  5. Mary Lou says:

    Wow, Lisa! I’m looking back. My sons are all grown. You just confirmed that I did GOOD!! 🙂 This is such a important post for parents.

  6. Eliza Delany says:

    I really appreciate the acknowledgement that my kids’ relationship with their dad is not my responsibility, nor is it under my control. Many people (even friends of mine who intend to be supportive) make me feel judged and inadequate by implying that if kids don’t have a solid relationship with both of us it’s because “we” aren’t putting the kids first. I’ve done what I can, I’m open to the possibility he may step up in the future but right now he isn’t able and me trying to do it for him not only wasn’t helping, it was undermining my relationship with my kids. My ex-husband turned out to be a very different person than the one I thought I was married to and that goes for his parenting as well. Thank you for delivering your advice in a way that doesn’t make me feel like I’ve failed my children more than I already do.

  7. This is great advice, Lisa. I like how you organized this into the tip and then the ‘eye-opening’ truth. it’s very effective in getting the reality across. It’s so hard co-parenting never mind with one who doesn’t want to pull his weight. The last one about letting your children know it’s ok to talk about the divorce with other, safe adults is excellent. It’s really hard as the actual parent to listen to our children’s fears and issues with our divorce because we feel guilty.

    • stilllearning2b says:

      I don’t think there’s anything easy about divorcing with kids. I can only imagine how big the guilt and grief for what you wanted for your child are. I am in awe of all those who navigate it!

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