Six Revealing Reasons People Cheat

17 Responses

  1. After a year inside the storm of now the end of my 21 year marriage reasons 2 to 6 apply to my relationship. It is devastating because I am fully aware from all of the research and soul searching of the last 12 months. It is too little too late for me as the OW has captured his needs and taken off running. Very sad, living my new normal, and I hate it!

    • It is so hard to transition to a new life you didn’t want. Hard question for you- is there any aspect of your life now that is better? No matter how small.

      • I am so deep into darkness that it is hard to see the good in my life. I have found time for me and that I have not done since I had my son 16 years ago. Because separation is one year in my state it feels like an eternity more so because I still wish for a change of heart from my husband, who says one thing and acts a different way. I really hate this situation, rip the band aide already!

        • I’ve known others with that mandatory waiting period. It can be rough. I get the wanting to rip the band aide. The legal piece is important as a starting point. How much longer do you have for the one year?

          • 6 months and every day hurts. The situation is torture, I can’t stand knowing the bitch won and I am the bad one. He has vilified me to her as was expected, it hurts like hell because I know it’s just a way to justify his wrong. UGH! thank you for reaching out I know you have been through this and more.

            • Halfway point. That’s the hardest in a race.

              Yes, he’s vilifying you. It serves him.

              She didn’t win. Yes, she has him. Not who you thought he was, but who he is proving to be. You’re winning in the long run.

              Kudos for taking care of you more than before. Now, can you schedule/create one thing each month for the next 6 months that you enjoy to get you through this period? Think of them like the signs held by spectators at a marathon. “You’re almost there” month markers.

              • Thank you, I will take your suggestions it will help. A little bit dies every day and I am really getting close to not wanting to save our marriage, I never thought I would say this. 🙁 Thank you so much for this exchange, I need it.

                • I hear you. Divorce went from the last thing I ever wanted to what I wanted more than anything almost overnight. It was strange realizing that. It’s hard acknowledging that you alone can only do so much to save your marriage and sometimes your best move is to close the door.

                  Hugs to you:)

  2. Ellen says:

    Very good post. I think it is time that we quit placing so much blame on the marriage or the spouse that doesn’t seem to fill the needs so one needs to stray. The time has come to change that view. We teach our children not to steal or cheat, yet would we say they did that for a reason? And then justify it? We would make our kids accountable. Spouses are not held accountable for the break up of marriages and family. They are adults and they know better. If you are unhappy, confused taking your focus off your marriage only hurts it. Try being open with your spouse, grateful and kind( this is the person you said forever to in good and bad). If that doesn’t help try clergy or counseling. Would you want your son or daughter in law to treat your child that way????
    watchmesurvive- it will get better….open your heart and your mind to a new life. It can be so much better than the previous one!

  3. I believe a better more fulfilling life awaits all of us💟

  4. I know I am not sleeping because of this nightmare, are really up? I was surprise you were up at 3am and now too? When does life go back to normal?

  5. Great info! Thanks!

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