The Unintended Consequences of Overreacting

8 Responses

  1. hopingtoheal says:

    YES!!! Every single word. I have done the same things in my marriage. Fear is a powerful driver. I too had many thoughts that I was doing the right thing but have since learned I was wrong. My husband ended up having an affair. After failed attempts to open up to me, he just shut down. Not my fault AT ALL, but I’m able to own the ways that I wasn’t making the marriage safe for him to be vulnerable. We are still healing 3 years later, but we’ve learned ALOT in the process. In a lot of ways, this new marriage is better and I’m not sure we would have gotten here had something so catastrophic not happened.
    “To be okay hearing the hard words without internalizing them or catastrophizing them” – very powerful words! Hard to do, but feels amazing when you can do it. Thanks for sharing.

  2. oneyeartofixthis says:


  3. Carrie says:

    Totally my truth too…

  4. Eliza Delany says:

    Wow. That’s a tough mirrror to look in. I really resonate with the pattern you’re describing. I’m coming up on two years since my husband abandoned me and our teenage daughters. I didn’t suffer the financial deceit and unraveling you did, but your descriptions of the core trauma are very familiar. I’m finding your reflections very thought provoking and helpful. Your words help me feel both understood and challenged to push through and find the lessons waiting in my pain. Thank you for sharing.

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