The Pros and Cons of the Increased Awareness of Narcissistic Abuse

8 Responses

  1. Thank you, thank you! I love your writing and how you hit at the very center of an experience with precise explaination.

    Narcissist is another synonym for asshole! Favorite. Line. Ever.

  2. Excellent post! I so love your creative visual images—they really add so much.

  3. nsymns says:

    As always, your writing never fails to make my jaw drop, as I read every word you’ve chosen so specifically for these subjects.
    Like so many of us in this enormous group, I’ve been educating myself for years, after the initial time a counselor and psychiatrist used the term narcissist in sessions with me AFTER the previous session when my spouse invited himself along to my appointments. I’d spent so much time building my case, documenting my proof, lining up each narcissistic trait side by side, and still to this day nothing else can ever describe this better than all the things I’ve learned, read, watched, etc.
    My own knowledge isn’t in question, BUT MY FOCUS was spent far too long on what I know inside out and upside down, and I knew confronting him was NOT the thing to do, but how was I to get out of this most abusive hell on earth I’d been living?
    I wanted validation from people and places that just weren’t possible at the time. Still may not be. There is no winning or fair in this ugliest of nightmares in which I lived too long. Once removed from each other I was still determined to make it known and be shouted through the world that this was indeed what I’d been living in. I made the much needed connections with those like me and also some excellent professionals along the way., but I still wasn’t dropping the fact that I wanted to be heard by everyone and be released of the burden of being the crazy one. I’ll never get those from anyone that would have mattered but myself. There’s no forcing this information on those who were never designed to see what took place behind closed doors because it was so well hidden in public and around others that it’ll never be an issue for anyone but myself, and the victims that follow me. I knew of one who figured this out very fast and couldn’t wait to tell all she knew. As much as that hurt as well, it was in fact further validation for me. It’s going on 4 years since the divorce was final plus taking me back to court to win more after that, and never once have I seen him or spoken to him nor ever plan to again. Although I don’t doubt there will be somewhere in time when we’d possibly cross paths. If I see that’s to happen, I’ll treat it like a black cat crossing before me and quickly go the opposite way. Nothing good could ever come of that. Ass hole fits but it’s far too nice.

  4. This is spot-on! I have been through every bit of this, including finding myself mired in the over-analysis of the narc personality disorder I felt certain my husband suffers from. It’s been a painful journey, but 3 years after he walked out on me and our 1 and 2 year-old babies and moved the opposite coast, I finally know a few things because of posts like this and because of Chump Nation. First, I was victimized but that does NOT make me a life-long victim. Second, I need to remember that energy directed towards what’s wrong with him is energy I don’t have for myself of my kids. And third, I can only continue to blog about it if it’s meant to help others to have that ‘aha!’ moment and compel them out of their pain or self-blaming mindset. Otherwise, the whole sha-bang is just me griping to the universe or asking others to feel sorry for my pain. Not the ‘me’ I’m going for, and not the person I want my kids to emulate. Thanks for the humbling reminder to always watch out for that ‘narrow filter’…thank you for the excellent post!

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