The Boomerang Ex: Why Do They Keep Coming Back? (And What to Do When They Show Up)

6 Responses

  1. My ex husband emailed me on what would have been our wedding anniversary. Some sop about how he wishes me happiness and that is was sorry that he couldn’t be the good man for me that I deserve. I deleted it and didn’t reply.

  2. jesstme123 says:

    I have an exam from 9 years ago that bothers me every few months. I’m matrix with kids now and I’ve asked him to stop. It’s a constant lingering. He’s never really gone away. Not sure how to make it stop…

  3. Nancy says:

    Having been married to a manipulative narcissist for 18 years (16 together, 2 separated), I know I can’t have any contact with him at all. No contact. No reaction to the childish nonsense and ways he’s still trying to manipulate me or find anything out about me. (He’s living with the 2nd woman since telling him he had to get out with proof of cheating in black and white). He denied it, with the best act of tears and pleading until he knew for sure he had an invitation to move in with her. Two months was all she could handle, & with that he came back begging for forgiveness. Had never lived a day alone on his own yet. He’s 54 today.
    (I didn’t know she tossed him out until she contacted me months after I told him to leave the second time).
    I let him come back. I loved him. Had loved only him. He manipulated me so well back into the home so smoothly with all I wanted to hear, but I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t live with a lying cheater who ripped my heart out without a care. It was misery and pure hell. What had I done? Within 24 hours I knew I’d made a HUGE mistake! Ugh!
    Four long months later I told him he had to go and there he went straight into a mutual friends place she’d rented and divorced her then hubby for mine. They’re still together I hear. Not so happy I’ve been told. I don’t ask. I don’t want to know. They deserve each other as far as I’m concerned. I’m still recovering & yet to date anyone. No kids together thankfully.
    It’s been 3 1/2 years since our long drawn out exhausting financially crippling divorce, and I’m still picking up all the pieces of my life he destroyed without a care other than he was so proud he did. I’m proud I’ve not let any of his sneaky motives get past me into my life now which is quiet. Very quiet. But without fear or harm.

    • What a roller coaster. Glad you’re off the ride and you’ve shut it down for good!

      • nsymns says:

        Yes ma’am, Lisa, it exhausts me thinking about it. I can’t imagine how I put up with it before I learned of the cheating. That was the final straw, but yet I let him beg his way back in, which was nothing more than another great act I so wanted to believe!

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