Learning From My Mistakes: How My Second Husband is Different Than My First

15 Responses

  1. La Quemada says:

    I love how you are able to identify very specific traits in Brock that are very important to you (and how they were missing in your earlier relationship).

    I could probably write something similar about my ex and my husband, but I think one thing stands out to distinguish them: my husband is on my side. He loves me, trusts me, knows I will make mistakes but that my intentions are aligned to his, and he wants me to be happy. My ex was suspicious, competitive, and concerned that concerned that I shouldn’t benefit too much unless he got his share first. Those characteristics made the divorce difficult, too. I am so grateful to have chosen differently the second time–and glad to read that you have, too.

  2. tallrachel says:

    Wow I so needed to read that at the moment. Thankyou so much for taking the time to write this……….

  3. em4mighty says:

    i made a list a few weeks back upon the recommendation of a friend. a lot of the things on the list were traits that i learned to appreciate by being in a relationship with someone who did not have them.

    i’m trying to date…ish. my biggest downfall is being flattered by a man who i am not necessarily attracted to and being attracted to him because i think he cares about me. i have to keep remembering what i want & not just take what i am given.


  4. This is exactly what I needed to read right now, having just started the dating game. I will sit and write out a list of what is important to me in my next partner. I get asked by guys what my type is…my type is generally tall (I’m a sucker for a tall guys), wears glasses (sucker for specs as well!), arrogant and an alpha male. But not alpha in a good way! More like in a “you will do as a say” kind of way. I have to get myself out of that but I am can’t help but be attracted to those types. Thanks for posting! Definitely got some food for thought now.

  5. Laura Bennet says:

    Great post. You’ve given some great contrasts that are clear here but often so subtle when we are in the midst of a relationship. Very helpful. Your journey is incredible and I’m so glad you’ve thrived and found a true mate. Thanks for checking out my blog.

  6. meridda says:

    Wow. I kept copying down quotes from this post until I realized I was copying practically the entire thing…the traits of your ex are spot on to those of my husband…only I’m still married to him…trying to work on things, but I’m feeling pretty hopeless at the moment. Thanks for your writing…I now must buy the book!

  7. Lois says:

    Lisa, you probably hear this quite often, but I feel like I have lived (thus far) a parallel life of yours. My soon to be ex husband had many of the same qualities (right down to video games) that yours did and we also had been together for 18 years, with 12 of those being married. We met at 19 & grew up together, starting our adult lives together but fell into those same patterns that led to our downfall. Your stories and lessons give me such hope in life after divorce. Thank you ☺️

    • stilllearning2b says:

      It’s still crazy and sad to me how many people relate to my experiences. I wish that my ex was one of a kind. I’m so sorry that you’ve dealt with similar and may happiness be just around the corner for you!

  1. March 13, 2019

    […] Learning from my mistakes – critical ways my second husband is different from my first. […]

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