Why I’m Attracted to People With a Difficult Past

4 Responses

  1. Coming from an abusive long marriage, I mistakenly thought that a man wouldn’t understand me unless he’d been through some of it too. I met a man who seemed from all outward appearances to have overcome a lot in his life. But I found out all he’d done was successfully bury it, and build his life around it, not dealing with it. The ending of that one was long and painful, relatively speaking.

    When I’m ready again……lol….I want someone who is just healthy, and compassionate, and even if he hasn’t learned the lessons from his own pain, can empathize and understand. Just joy, that’s all I want now. So done with the pain. They say there is no growth without pain, and it’s probably true, but at the moment, I’ve grown enough! Nice post….

    • I think some amount of pain is required for growth. But much like water poured into a potted plant, it has to be processed and applied or it simply becomes stagnant and sick water pooled in the bottom of the pot.

      Here’s to joy!!:))

  2. A person who has persevered is usually more interesting and has learned much through the bumps and bruises. It’s nice that people can see it as bringing more to the table than just excess baggage.

    I will mention, though, that people who are angry or have a chip on the shoulder as a result of these experiences can be kryptonite for those partners looking to be lifted, not weighed down. I’m avoiding this kind of man because I was married to one and refuse to be brought down by it again.


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