Is It Love? The False Dawn of a Rebound Relationship

5 Responses

  1. nadine says:

    i so agree with all of your signs regarding a rebound relationship. Especially the last part about not rushing into anything and being honest with your partner about where you are in your healing process. I believe honesty can help any relationship bloom into something more even a rebound one. My current husband started as a rebound relationship shortly after the dissolution of my first marriage. We were both in a divorce support group in our city, he a little further along than I (divorced almost 1 1/2 years). I however, joined the support group before the papers where even served. I was newly separated after finding out about my now ex’s work affair. We had everything not to make a relationship bloom. Betrayal. trust, grief issues you name it. While our unique similarities to the endings of our first marriages brought us together, we continued to enjoy each other’s company and common interests without the “D” talk. He understood and respected my need for healing and was very patient. I, in turn understood and did the same for him as well. Never once have we ever muttered, even now 4 years later, “get over it” Emotions are not like a light switch, and love is a choice more than a feeling. But being honest with each other, keeping insecurities at bay (thinking about him/her means you don’t love me) and giving each other space and time to heal, worked and made such a solid relationship that for both of us so very much trumps our first marriages.

    • Yes!!! Relationships aren’t black and white. What starts as one thing can transition into another. I’m so with you on allowing healing to occur in its own time. My now-husband and I had a similar path as you. So glad you’ve cultivated that love:))

  2. So good. Thank you.

  3. adil004 says:

    Actually.. I want to say that rebound relationships are good in some way.
    Since you can use your experience in judging the potential of your new lover because you already know what a bad lover be like. This can help you make a correct decision this time ultimately leading you to your eternal way of happiness.
    If you still don’t get it what I’m saying you can read everything about it here:

  4. Amanda says:

    How about you get over your “stuff” before you drag someone else into it? You think it’s hard for the divorced person when a transitional relationship ends? It’s nothing compared to the pain felt by the person that was being used to help them get over their divorce. The person that was led to believe that the feelings and plans were real. The person that already worked through their stuff and was healthy and happy going into the relationship. The person who is left devastated when the divorced person’s past comes calling and destroys the relationship. The person who has to see the person they love the most move on to a new relationship once they’ve had the time to process their feelings about their divorce. It’s completely selfish to use someone to get over someone else.

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