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Will I Be Alone Forever?

19 Responses

  1. divorceshoes says:

    I can totally relate!

  2. Barb Chabai says:

    Great blog post – and great minds think alike! This week, I, too, wrote about fear and the loop of negativity that our ego feeds us upon our struggle with identity and separation. Thank you for sharing your courageous and inspirational story. I especially liked the mention of “love mentors” – reminders all around to remain hopeful and always open to love.

  3. Patrick says:

    Very well stated. Fear can keep us from moving forward. My biggest fear is going through another dissolution. Once is too much but life is far better. A two edged sword.

    • Oh, I hear you! I have two thoughts about second divorce- at least I would know that I could survive yet I know how bloody hard it would be to do so. On the plus side, that fear is a great motivator to do the self-work and marriage-work needed to keep a relationship healthy.

  4. This may very well be my favorite post of yours, and that is saying a lot! Thanks for sharing such a wonderful perspective, as it gives me hope.

  5. Great post. I am in a different space as, enjoying the freedom of being alone and my greatest ‘fear’ at the moment is having that taken away (ie becoming attached to someone). Isn’t it strange how attitude changes with the distance of time?

    • Yes! It’s so funny to me how many things exist on a continuum and that people have a tendency to respond to stress by moving to one side or the other. There are certainly great aspects of being alone with the complete and total freedom it provides. Enjoy those freedoms!!:)

  6. Michael says:

    Spot on again Ms. Arends. I have been paralyzed with the fear of another dissolution potentially– my divorce following a 25 year marriage was soul crushing– I never want to go through that again so I have become a ” romantic sloth” moving as slowly as the tree hugging animal. Your blog gave me the hope that ” life always changes” and perhaps ” she” is out there somewhere. I loved the line” you may have lost one but not the only one”. I have been reading your blog since my divorce in 2012. And though I am lonely– I somehow survived a devastating period. Thank you Lisa for being a part of my healing with your honestly and transparency– and gift of communication.

    Sincerely
    Michael

  7. tolate4me says:

    Wife left me in 2001 I was 30,

    Been alone 16 years and counting. At this point I think I’m getting to old to have a family.

    Life sucks, then you die.

    • I’m sorry to hear you feel this way. Whenever I hear or think, “I’m too old to..” I think of a friend of mine who remarried in his late 60s. He’s happier than ever now approaching his mid 70s. Never say never.

  8. Ben says:

    Love mentor? Interesting concept. Can’t say I have anything like that. Raised by my mother. Never met my father or his side any of his family. My grandparents hated each other. My uncle’s we’re /are asses. So not much in the roll model categories.
    Divorced over 2 yrs ago. Couldn’t forgive the lies and cheating anymore. She finds “love” easily. I can’t connect emotionally anymore. The majority of my time is work and my kids. They are my passion.
    Living in a small town, sucks. Nothing in common with people here. The few friends I do have simply can’t understand what I’m going through. This life sucks.

    • Sounds rough. I can believe that being in a small town is hard for many reasons, especially post divorce when you’re looking for new social connections. Do you have any online groups where you feel like you have common interests and/or experiences? That might help supplement your friend group some. Also, are there any candidates for “adopted” grandparents? The elderly often have wisdom and understanding found through a lifetime of experience. If your blood-related ones are negative, there’s nothing to say you can’t find your own. Thinking of you!

  9. Michele Covino says:

    Love this!!! And you! Thank you for helping through some really dark times! Now is NOT forever 😉

    • stilllearning2b says:

      😊 I think that recognizing the temporary nature of feelings is a challenge for all of us!

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