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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

I’m Still Learning

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When I first started writing, I elected to be anonymous. Tasked with selecting a screen name that was both descriptive and inclusive, I settled on stilllearning2b.

And these past few weeks have been a (often painful) reminder that I am indeed still learning.

I am still learning to be in the moment and not to let my mental demons hijack a runaway train into an imagined future.

I am still learning to listen with curiosity rather than fear and to silence the self-induced panic.

I am still learning how to differentiate between spilled milk and an oncoming milk truck.

I am still learning how to develop a teflon skin that sloughs off perceived insults rather than soaking them up.

I am still learning how to separate what I provide to others from my worth to others.

I am still learning how to face disagreements without defensiveness or retreat.

I am still learning that it is not my job to ensure that others are happy.

I am still learning not to internalize every word and action around me.

I am still learning how to recognize and bleed my excess anxiety.

I am still learning to trust myself.

And I’m amazingly grateful that I have a husband that never fails to remind me of our household motto:



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14 thoughts on “I’m Still Learning

  1. Life is a learning process. It is my belief that we die (at least figuratively) when we stop learning. So keep opening to the things that frighten you, that’s where the most love is needed. It’s easy to love the rose, yet there be thorns that need love just as much.

  2. You recognize these things and that’s an amazing victory! Your sharing with others on this blog is healing for both yourself and us. Thank you! <3

    1. I really like the staircase too. That same quote is often just in sentence form, but I think the stairs add to it.

      As for the thoughts, I have a feeling they are all too common. And so dang difficult to work through! Worth it though:)

      1. Yes, they are difficult to work through, but the end result is far better than where we started. I have found it difficult not to project what happened to me onto the relationship I have with my fiancée. Mindfulness seems to be the key for me.

  3. yes, I am still learning all these too and can relate to all of them especially this one
    “I am still learning how to differentiate between spilled milk and an oncoming milk truck”.

  4. I am writing this in my journal. You have delved deeply into a very personal pain and are now seeing a clear path upon which to journey. I could not have articulated it any better… You have touched my heart and soul. Many thanks to you for sharing this!

  5. I am right there with you. Life is full of lessons. We just have to try our best, own our mistakes, and look for the message in the mess. Never give up. Recently I told my friend Oprah is doing weight watchers and she said Oprah should just give up bc she’s 60 and she’s been doing this for years. I thought No! You don’t give up bc you have been trying or bc you are a certain age. Keep swimming.

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