I’m Still Learning
When I first started writing, I elected to be anonymous. Tasked with selecting a screen name that was both descriptive and inclusive, I settled on stilllearning2b.
And these past few weeks have been a (often painful) reminder that I am indeed still learning.
I am still learning to be in the moment and not to let my mental demons hijack a runaway train into an imagined future.
I am still learning to listen with curiosity rather than fear and to silence the self-induced panic.
I am still learning how to differentiate between spilled milk and an oncoming milk truck.
I am still learning how to develop a teflon skin that sloughs off perceived insults rather than soaking them up.
I am still learning how to separate what I provide to others from my worth to others.
I am still learning how to face disagreements without defensiveness or retreat.
I am still learning that it is not my job to ensure that others are happy.
I am still learning not to internalize every word and action around me.
I am still learning how to recognize and bleed my excess anxiety.
I am still learning to trust myself.
And I’m amazingly grateful that I have a husband that never fails to remind me of our household motto: