The Danger Of Holding On

20 Responses

  1. Letting go frees us. Great post.

  2. LesleyPearl says:

    As usual…this could not have come at a better time. In 31 days I move to Madrid with a one-year visa. I am selling everything…even though I do not know what will follow after those 365 days. So many have asked me why I am not storing my things. You blog feels like the answer I’d been searching to articulate.

  3. It is scary to let go of something that defines your identity. It is interesting that you have given examples where people’s identity have been wound up in being a victim, or feeling helpless, or in struggling. I wonder if it is because they have received attention for their helplessness and it is the attention they find it hard to let go of.

    • Good observation. With teaching, I’ve found learned helplessness is one of the most difficult behaviors to correct because it does offer some comfort and perceived benefits.

  4. Maria says:

    This topic of letting go reminds me of a magnet I recent saw in one of the healthier food chains: Let go or be dragged! Sometimes life or circumstances will ‘force our hands’, so to speak. I had to chuckle, as I related it to having been dragged (i.e ‘forced’ by abandonment and infidelity) to let go of my marriage. A marriage that I can now see in the rear-view mirror as having been destructive all along.

  5. Jana says:

    Great post – I always need to be reminded about this when I’m feeling frightened by the future and victimized by the past.

  6. Reblogged this on Ladywithatruck's Blog and commented:
    This blog post holds true for all things in life. Possessions, relationships, jobs…….. sometimes you have to let go in order for something better to come in.

  7. Enjoyed this. It’s interesting about storage space. Is it used by people who have homes with plenty of Things but need more – or people who gad about the place and so don’t have a home for their Things? In any case, Things are a burden, and the more of them you have,the heavier the burden becomes.

  8. Coco says:

    Moving can mean so many things in a divorce/separation. I’ve been divorced for some time now and living in the city, my ex picked out. He doesn’t even live here anymore, but somehow I ended up here. Since we share a child together I actually have to get his permission to move. I feel like I moved on all I can, but need to physically move to have my own life again. Hopefully the courts will agree!

    • Crossing fingers for you! If that doesn’t work, maybe you can resettle in a different area of your city. That’s what I ended up doing and it gave me the fresh start I needed as well as the satisfaction of knowing that I chose it.

  9. ceeceefrance says:

    Hmmm. You have me thinking. All my possessions are in storage because I have no home of my own. Like a previous comment, I was abandoned and forced from my home abroad three months ago. I’m staying with fantastically supportive friends while the ex argues about how much settlement he will deign to pay me. I have to be patient. Play by the rules.
    But sometimes, just sometimes I think what if? What if I got rid of the lot on ebay and started afresh?
    I can’t afford to do that. I’m much older than previous commenters. I live on a small pension. I want to have a little place of my own with my own things around me- my books, my paintings, my beloved baking bowls for which I don’t have to weigh things because I know so well how the ingredients fill them. I don’t worry these things will remind me of him because they were my property before we met.
    In my case, holding onto these particular things is part of re-establishing myself as me. A me who can choose to do what she wants when she wants. A me who doesn’t have to look for approval from anybody nor take barbed comments and criticism at the way I do things.
    My possessions will be a comfort to me not a burden. I’ve stopped accepting his manipulative, controlling behaviour with his pathetic meagre crumbs of comfort. From now on I’m planning on making myself very comfortable. This is all the adventure I need right now. It’s the most wonderful feeling taking back control of your own life.
    But first I’ll need to buy a bed!

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