In and Out of Love
My brain, numbed and molded into a box from days of administering standardized tests is slow to make connections and weave non-standardized sentences this morning. I have found myself strangely drawn towards curves over the last two weeks – doodling nonsensical and nonlinear designs, sitting in the comforting arch of the non-corner of my deck and appreciating the bends in the trees and the undulations in the clouds.
It always takes some time for me to re-adjust. To remember that life is not multiple choice and that children are not defined by which bubble they darken. To feel comfortable again speaking off of a script and speaking my mind. Today, I am purging myself of the testing remains and spending time without monitoring minutes or erasures.
Meanwhile, here’s another collection of some interesting articles that I have encountered over the last few weeks. Enjoy. And remember, life is not a test. There are no wrong answers, only different paths.
This research invested the effect of oxytocin on feelings of betrayal. The results are interesting and not what I would have expected. My ex expertly used affection, and thus oxytocin, to keep me calm.
Good stuff here. I have to admit, I started dating before I had resolved all of these (I was still pretty angry), but they all had to be resolved before I could really be in a relationship.
I share this not because I think it will “work” to save a relationship on the rocks (you have to have a straying partner willing and able to listen first), but because I think it is a well-written description of what it feels like to be betrayed. Countless writers have attempted to describe the pain in words. I don’t think any words can quite embody it. But these get close.
It’s interesting the perspective that can be gained when distilling something so complicated into a simple list. I know I fell out of love at first sight once I realized that he wasn’t the person I thought he was.
We work hard to improve our physical environment – creating a comfortable home and welcoming space. Yet sometimes we neglect to spruce up the environment we spend the most time in – our own minds. The words we say to others have influence and the words we say to ourselves have power. Choose them carefully.