10 Ways Your Divorce Makes You Even Better Than Before

Posted bystilllearning2bPosted inHealing From DivorceTags:, , , , ,

I don’t think anyone ever responds to the childhood question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” with “Divorced.” Yet, for many of us, the end of a marriage does become part of our life story. I know I don’t have to point out the downsides of divorce to you; after all, they have a way of speaking for themselves.

But what about the upsides? What about the ways that your divorce, even if it was of the unwanted or malignant variety, has made you better than before?

Because whether you realize it or not, divorce (like many other life challenges) has changed you. Shaped you. Strengthened you.

Its harsh grit has left you polished. Its demands have made you grow. And the pain has left its mark. You aren’t the same person you were before. You’re better.

Read the rest at The Good Men Project and join the conversation!

Thank you for sharing!

12 thoughts on “10 Ways Your Divorce Makes You Even Better Than Before”

  1. I’ll have to agree. I’m not divorced, but my marriage has hit some very difficult patches and I’m really not sure if we will make it. I hope so, but I can’t say.

    That said, the “difficult patch” has been a period of great personal growth for me. I’ve learned a lot about life, love, and what I need out of both. I’ve learned a lot about me.

    My hope remains that this will be something that will allow my marriage to be stronger and healthier than before. If not, at least moving forward I have a clearer understanding of what I need in life.

    Reply

  2. I totally agree… I have become so much more as a person since my divorce, and have learned alot about myself…. Was my divorce fun? No… Am I still dealing with some of the aftermath year later? Yes… But it’s shaped my resiliences, my knowledge of self worth, what I need to improve upon, and what I need to look for that is compatible with me…
    I choose to view my divorce as a positive..

    Reply
  3. SassaFrassTheFeisty – Indianapolis, IN – I'm a mother of two-mostly amazing-kids. This is my journey towards healing from the ruin of my marriage and 10 year relationship to my kid's "dad", my stories of dealing with really good and really bad days, learning to cope and move on. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 with mania and ADHD-look! Something shiny!!-and Postpartum Depression. I love completely and passionately. Just don't piss me off, because I'll burn that bridge-and I'll stand on it and watch the flames consume everything. Sass 101 First-As my name suggests I am a Feisty Lil Thang. I tell it like it is. It is no holds barred on my blog. If you expect fluffy puppies, rainbows and sunshine, exit Stage Right because it ain't gonna be here. If you expect no cussing and positivity, and that I pray to a God or deity, exit Stage Left. That's not here either. What's here is real, honest, raw and truthful. This is my journey through the last 18 months from the separation of my husband and the JOYOUS roller coaster my family has been on. Oh yes, I did forget to mention-I am a sarcastic quick witted one. Sasscasm is trademarked by the ever Butch Blah. Don't mess with her Dragon, he eats assholes for breakfast. We have a tribe here that is very exclusive-seriously. If you're lucky enough to enter, you are worthy enough to partake in our Femme Speak. If not, just nod your head yes, and move on. I have Bipolar 1 with mania and I cycle into depression 2 times a year. This year has been an exception to the rule considering this year has just been shit. I've been to my local psych hospital twice in less than 10 months-once for depression, once for a psychotic episode resulting from over medication. YAY! Piss on that shit. If it hadn't been for Blah, I never would have gone. Thank you Blah. I lurve you! I have 2 kids-a boy I call NSLM-Not So Little Man-because Anxious Mom has her LM. Didn't want to steal her LM's thunder :) And I have a daughter referred to as Monkey-it's self explanatory. They are also referred to as my Heathens-yes I can call them that because I gave birth to them, I know them and they act like Heathens at times-just thank the Good Lord they aren't Hellians or I'd be in jail. I have an almost 5 year old purebred Red and Black German Shepherd named May-she's momma's baby, and Monkey is on her THRID guinea pig in about a year-thank her dad for that one. This one is S'mores and he's a wheeker and fat and fluffy. My kids and I live with my parents, because I'm not stable or healthy enough to work and live on my own. I have FINALLY found my magic pill cocktail-for now-and I have clarity for the first time in my life. I no longer use the word "stable" I use baseline. I've been on a lot of meds over the years, and since the last med I was on and overmedicated I have become med sensitive-SUPER YAY. I'm good at recognizing side effects and can tweak a med time better than a dr. Not cocky, just fact. I'm that in tune with my body. I'm also very emotionally charged. My emotions have always ruled my decisions, and I don't see that changing, but I am now better to stop and think things through before making a decision-some of the time. I'm mouthy, but I have a huge heart of gold, and I get hurt easily. And when I talk about people on here in my life off of WordPress they get their own special nicknames. DB-Douchebag. BBFL-Best Bitch For Life-My best friend in Alaska that I HOPE I get to see soon. EG-English Gentleman-a guy that I've bee talking to for a year that lives near Scotland and is on an 8 month trip around the world, and will be stateside in January. I can't wait to meet him in person! Cute Neighbor Guy. There were two guys that were named for the states they lived in, and I think I've deleted everything about Florida but the last post-Thank you Andrew for the title, you brilliant dictionary, you. Then there are my most supportive friends here: Anxious Mom, Andi, Zoe, Diane, Morgue, Blah, Chris, Sparkly Pants ;) Victo, Tessa, Bipolarfirst, bp7o9, Vic, Kitt, Leslie, and my newest BUDDY Andrew. I know I've forgotten some people and I SERIOUSLY apologize given the state of my brain haze, I hope you don't hate me!! I know you don't, I'm just overly dramatic. No I'm not...yeah, yes I am. ;) So, if you can't handle my sarcastic tongue and my cursing that can make sailors blush, the lobby exit is in the top right corner with a little X. That being said, I hope you new arrivals aren't just looking for blogs for numbers-this isn't that kind of blog. And I rather like interactive people on my little slice of the crazy pie-well, more like peach cobbler because it's my favorite but ANYWAY. I don't follow back just because you follow me. I may not be too picky about my food, but I'm picky about my men and the blogs I follow. With that, I shall bid you Welcome to Sasstopia, and may you stay to be among my Sassafrains. Reggie my Pegacorn is tethered out back as he doesn't do well with new people. I shall be shining my spork launcher on the table, next to my melon baller and grapefruit spoon all soaked in syphilis. If you have any questions, fucking ask. I don't do vague. LOVE YOU! <3
    sassafrass20 says:

    Reblogged this on sassafrass20's Blog and commented:
    My separation and eventual divorce is a blessing in disguise. I have seen how much I have changed in good ways since last April 3, and I couldn’t be more proud on myself. Love your blog!! You always have great advice 😀

    Reply
  4. Aleia Mims – I used to be my own worst enemy, afraid of going after my true heart's desire. I didn't want to experience rejection or failure. It didn't matter that I had two degrees from an Ivy League university or was leading award-winning schools. I self-sabotaged until I hit rock bottom with foreclosure, divorce, and infertility. The beauty in all this is that I gained powerful lessons that led to sustained personal and professional abundance. I teach these lessons in the show up for success system, my signature VIP coaching program.
    AC Mims says:

    These are spot on. I have grown SO MUCH since becoming divorced. I’m more mature, compassionate, and responsible. I’ve also learned how to be direct about my needs and boundaries. Even though divorce brought me to my proverbial needs, I’m so thankful for the lessons.

    Reply
  5. splittingassets – Columbia, SC – Together with my partner, we are a team of professionals specifically trained and certified to work with our clients as they maneuver through the divorce process with or without an attorney. We work with our clients to untangle the values of the marital assets and how to separate them in the most equitable way. We also look at those assets as to the values of today and into the future 5, 10, 20 years from now.
    splittingassets says:

    I love how you broke it all down into such description and emotional terms. I’m sharing with my women on FB.

    Reply
  6. splittingassets – Columbia, SC – Together with my partner, we are a team of professionals specifically trained and certified to work with our clients as they maneuver through the divorce process with or without an attorney. We work with our clients to untangle the values of the marital assets and how to separate them in the most equitable way. We also look at those assets as to the values of today and into the future 5, 10, 20 years from now.
    splittingassets says:

    Reblogged this on SplittingAssets's Blog and commented:
    I just had to share this with my followers. She has hit it on the head with these points. Just remember you will get through this and you will be a different, better, stronger person on the other side!

    Reply
  7. Tessa – United States – My name is Tessa Dean and I am an author and blogger. My writing styles vary and I love writing using prompts. I am also writing my first book, a Memoir entitled "Government Property - A Memoir of a Military Wife".  This is being published on the blog rather than the traditional way. I am putting up chapters as I go along. I keep my blog filled with useful content, stories, and poems. Plenty to keep you busy. I have also been interviewed by blogs and had other posts published on many different blogs. I also wrote a series of articles on Bipolar Disorder for IBPF (International Bipolar Foundation). I am in my 60’s and disabled which allows me plenty of time to write to my heart’s content. I live in southern New Jersey and have 3 children and 5 grandchildren. My oldest grandchild is a Sargent in the United States Marine Corps.
    Tessa says:

    Reblogged this on Tessa Can Do IT! and commented:
    I have found mine (15 years ago) to be a blessing in disguise. I needed to become my own person and not let everyone run my life. Scary, but happier.

    Reply

  8. For many divorce is not the end, it is the beginning of a new and better life. Those who have been abused or in an unhappy marriage can finally take charge of their lives and do what they want to do. Some even find a wonderful new partner in the future. Divorce is definitely part of their life stories.

    Reply
  9. Pingback: 10 Ways Your Divorce Makes You Even Better Than Before | Your Divorce Specialist

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