The Entitled Ones


We all start out believing that we are the center of the world.

And then as we grow, our sense of our place in the world shifts.

Until we realize that we are not the center of the world. but a part of the world.

With a responsibility to step and speak with kindness and care.

Except some people never develop the understanding that they are a part of the world.

They persist in their belief that they are the sun and the rest of us are mere satellites.

And rather than stepping with kindness and care, they stomp on boundaries and crush others beneath their unfeeling feet.

And rather than speaking with kindness and care, they use words as weapons to harm and tools to manipulate.

They are the entitled ones. The self-crowned kings and queens of our realm.

Many were raised to be empowered, showered with excess and unearned praise by parents afraid of setting and maintaining boundaries. They held dominance in their families and assumed that their sway extended outside the familial home. They never learned how to hear a “no” or contend with a limit. They asked and they received.

Parents stepped in and cushioned consequences, so cause and effect was never mastered. They never received education in empathy, so they held on to a young child’s lack of understanding. And perhaps worst of all, these infant monarchs learned how to shuffle blame and avoid responsibility.

Some of the entitled ones earned their badge with an assist from genetics, given a biological limit to their abilities to empathize with and understand others.

In school, these entitled children don the label of “bully” as they use power, fear and manipulation to control the other students. In their world, the ends justify any means necessary and they are quite adept at pulling out every mean possible.

As they grow into adults, the entitled ones often find themselves successful. After all, when you’re ruthless on the ladder to success, you can leave quite a pile of bodies behind you. They can be charismatic, hiding their entitlement behind charm and practiced words. They’re just putting on a show for the benefit of their lackeys while they take what they believe they deserve.

And some of us fall for this charade. After all, it can certainly be a great show.

But these are the people that will pledge fidelity while actively pursuing another. They will set a household budget, yet feel entitled to break it. They will tell you what you want to hear while doing what they want to do.

The only reason needed for any action is,”I felt like it.”

But at some point, the curtains part.

And we see the special effects for what they are.

And we become aware of the strings tied around our own wrists.

Making us an unwilling participant in the entitled one’s play.

And for those of us that understand that we are all in this together, the realization that we were perceived as nothing but minions and pawns is a painful one.

But better to endure the pain of having the strings cut.

Than to never see them at all.

Be stronger than your pain.

Build your boundaries with your entitled one and enforce them with everything you have.

Let them be the center of their world.

But refuse to let them be the center of yours.

Thank you for sharing!

8 thoughts on “The Entitled Ones

  1. Oh I so needed this!! Husband hasn’t deposited any money in 4 weeks now. I’m looking for a job, and have to tell the kids that no more eating out, but I’ll NOT bulge under his pressure. Mediation in 2 weeks. You described this man perfectly, and yes, he needs to leave his life as I need to live mine.

  2. My wife died last year and this struck a nerve.

    After the funeral, children from my children’s school and some who no longer attended the school, went after my daughter on line with such endearing things as “Boo Hoo, your mommy is dead, nobody cares, your daddy can’t afford the private school and instead will have to come on over to the public school.

    In addition were comments about cutting and killing one’s self as well as sexual comments and those that said, “you don’t belong at so and school.” My children got into that school because of academics and the wife’s credentials and got a break on tuition as it was a 20 k a year school. They no longer attend that school.

    Perhaps what I was dealing with was more on the level of evil than entitled but is amazing to see such children and adults stoop to such outrageous levels and will never understand and/or forgive the sorry excuses for human being that said what they said to two little girls.

    1. How horrible for your daughters. It’s sad and scary how some people use the distance and illusion of protection of the internet to bully and harm. I hope the girls have found some more supportive friends at their new school.

  3. livebysurprise – Liv is the pseudonym reformed divorcee and single mom - now married, coparenting and working mother of three. She's been featured on ScaryMommy, HuffPost Divorce, The Mid and More at
    Liv says:

    Yes. The realization is incredible and empowering. And soon you can identify them everywhere. It’s like you’ve taken off rose colored glasses – and you can see how ugly they really are.

  4. only24dates – Chicago, IL – I've never been too selective about who I date. You offer, I accept (unless you're unbearable). But for 2015, I'm limiting myself to 24 dates only. I can make new friends or revisit the old but every date counts. Follow me as I blog about my encounters with men and help me choose which to pursue.
    only24dates says:

    This was excellent. Thank you so much for sharing!

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