How to Change a Man

15 Responses

  1. oh2bhuman says:

    Oh if only we could actually learn that!!!

  2. Well said. Nobody should try and “change” anyone. Men are not “fixer-upper projects.” And I agree — who on earth would want to manipulate, prod, and cajole someone into marriage? Its a recipe for disaster. And besides, I wouldn’t WANT to marry anyone who NEEDED to be pushed, prodded, threatened or cajoled into marriage. I would only marry someone who was 100% as enthusiastic about it as me. that’s what I don’t get. Why would someone want to do this to someone? you’re setting yourself up for failure.

  3. pecsbowen says:

    Written with such frankness. 🙂

  4. zombiedrew2 says:

    Love this. The fact is, you can never change anyone (man or woman). You can influence, and you can lead by example. But change has to come from them.

    One of my favorite relationship lines is “choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems you can live with”. No one is perfect, and you will have differences. So the question becomes, can you accept those differences? Can you accept the relationship as it is, today?

    Hopefully the answer is yes, because when it’s conditional on “I can accept it if X changes” then you are likely in for disappointment.

  5. This is so spot on. I agree wholeheartedly. I like the thing about focusing on the time together.
    I was thinking if I get married again, my vows may be a bit different the next time. They wouldn’t promise forever, but that I promised not to take any day or time together for
    Granted, that I would live like all our time together was limited and precious and a gift not to be squandered. (Or something like that…)
    Your right, you can’t change people, but you can change your outlook and expectations.

  6. annieemmy says:

    This is excellent. I think, all too often, women view men as a “project” – something they need to alter and “fix” to meet their needs. Even if a man does change based on the woman’s expectations, it won’t be a real or lasting change. It’s something a person needs to do on their own for THEMSELVES… not anyone else. And if we’re not okay with who the person is initially, it’s a pretty safe bet that relationship will not work or last. However, the “fixer-upper” mentality can be a tough one to get rid of… and that’s something women really need to change about themselves.

  7. adeyemibello says:

    Nice write up.

  8. You r so right, what’s the point! I don’t get these people who give each other ultimatums? Why would I want someone I had to force to be with me? As opposed to them changing their mind and be willing for compromise. I still believe it’s simply about pursuit, 😡

  9. tywood12 says:

    Reblogged this on My New Life.

  10. BecHanson says:

    Just interested, when you rexamined your own responses to things and worked on them, was there anything specific that you did or any method, person, philosophy etc that you followed? Looking for tips…

  1. March 16, 2019

    […] by changing your spouse. But by changing yourself and your reactions. Instead of blaming your responses on your […]

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