I think we can all agree that ending a marriage should require at least a conversation.
But that doesn’t always happen. All too often, because of cowardice, denial or just plain dirtbaggery, one partner makes the decision unilaterally and simply walks out the door with hardly a “good bye.”
And for the one left behind, the abruptness is devastating. Confusing. Even dehumanizing as such an important conclusion was reached without any input or consideration.
Of course the, “I want out” conversation is one that nobody wants to have. And it’s not surprising that some people simply find a way to sidestep the discussion on their way to packing their bags. But maybe, just maybe, if we can reframe the end of a relationship in the same terms as we use for the beginning of a relationship, we can encourage people to have the talk.
Rebecca Wissink offers a new way to think about the conversation that proceeds the signing of separation papers – the divorce proposal. Read about her idea here and let her know what you think.
4 thoughts on “A Divorce Proposal”
I’ve had those “Therapist or Lawyer” discussions. It was mostly venting, and to shake some apathy out of our marriage. Most of the time it was a reset. Return to neutral corners until the next bout. 🙁
How long did that pattern continue? Curious, since my divorce was the opposite.
Yep, my ex did the dirtbaggery thing and then couldn’t understand why I and my entire family was so angry at him.
It just makes you shake your head, doesn’t it. My ex kept whining to the police that he “just wanted to be happy.” As though that’s a good reason to commit a felony:)