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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

You’re Not Flipping the Switch, You’re Turning the Dial

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We often believe that decisions in our lives are decisive, one choice made over another as resolutely as flipping a switch.

We’re often wrong.

Most decisions in our lives are made like the slow turn of a dial as we move incrementally towards some conclusion.

We slide into decisions carried on the back of inertia, following the path of least resistance and the road of slightest effort.

We creep into these courses of action and then retroactively rewrite our memories to justify our decisions-that-weren’t-really-decisions.

It happens at the beginning of relationships when it is easier to say yes to another date than to break it off. It occurs later on, when getting married is the next logical step and an “I do” is less effort than starting over. We may have kids through inertia, stay in careers through inaction and even turn the dial towards “divorce” without being aware of where the path may lead.

The changes are incremental. So small, they aren’t even noticed at the time like the heat slowly rising until the lobster is cooked without ever realizing he was in danger.

Be aware of areas where you are turning the dial. Be alert to your justifications applied after the fact. Make sure you are where you want to be, not just where you ended up.

Choose to flip the switch and turn your life on.

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One thought on “You’re Not Flipping the Switch, You’re Turning the Dial

  1. That’s a very different way of looking at decision making. The idea that important decisions are made through inertia simply because it is the path of least resistance is definitely something to look at. All outcomes need to be weighed before deciding something important such as marriage, children, career changes, divorce, anything that will radically change life as you know it. Although, some decisions have to tried on and worn for a bit before saying yay or nay.

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