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The Honeymoon Period After Divorce

17 Responses

  1. Nephila says:

    Interestingly I know a family where the parents divorced and were shuttling their 2 kids back and forth like you do, and then they eventually decided to get back together (the kids dream that we all say never happens) and they had 2 more! So 2 boys close in age then a 15 year gap then 2 more close in age. As the child of a single mother I thought that never happened but…

  2. The book, “Rebuilding”, by Bruce Fischer, is often used in divorce support groups, is an excellent one for this stage.

  3. Jules says:

    I have tears welling up in my eyes. I am not looking forward to this.

    • You’ll be okay. It just catches some people by surprise. You think it’s over and then, wham something comes up. The decree is not the end. It’s a change. And it does get better day by day.

  4. I was patted on the back for strength. I was forging forward fearless. Really, I was just numb. It’s been a year since things ‘changed’… and In December it will be a year since he lived here. In June it will be a year since the paperwork finished it all. But I’m just not realizing the impact of this on ‘me’. My children are adjusting way better than I ever imagined at their little ages (they will be 4 and 5 in January). I was so concerned with how everyone else was handling my divorce, including my ex-husband… I forgot to cry for myself.

    • Oh so easy to do. Purpose gives us strength in the moment – think of those stories you hear about slight people able to lift cars off of kids. Eventually, the adrenaline and immediate needs of others fade and you’re left with yourself. Time to take care of you:)

  5. Excellent advice. I particularly like the advice of having another goal such as a degree to work towards. Great idea!

  6. Girl from Oz says:

    “be careful not to turn to romantic interests to meet your emotional needs; that’s a recipe for additional heartbreak”

    why would that happen?

  7. Rebound relationships. Trying to attain what you wanted or wished you had in the previous relationship. Definitely the wrong thing. Trying deal and heal while building a new relationship does not work. Can’t give the new relationship 100% of your emotional attention. Great blog and great advice. Been through it all and and waited to start a new relationship. Almost two years in and we happy.

  8. Wills says:

    Wow. It’s tough . And I hear you re people’s sympathy wearing off. Had an argument with a family member just two days ago because she told me off for not moving forward and I told her she was being mean and unsympathetic .

  9. Ginger says:

    I’m preparing for the future and reading this really helped me because mentally prepared that yes, I will be happy I will be out of a relationship that is literally withering me away but it will have some really rough areas. I don’t know if I will get who knows, I’ve been thinking of leaving for 8 years…so I may get for myself. Thank you I will re-read this again and again

    • It’s a balance of living in the moment and being grateful for the small things while also taking the long view of overall life satisfaction and happiness. You’ll get there:) One baby step after another!

  1. November 10, 2014

    […] assigned my divorce decree magical powers; I thought it was the ticket to healing. It […]

  2. December 8, 2014

    […] you may find the secondary pain even worse than the initial trauma. This plummet may come when the honeymoon period after divorce expires. Regardless of when it hits, it feels […]

  3. December 30, 2018

    […] My life existed in two separate spheres – I had the realm where I was broke, facing the unknown legal battles and reeling from the betrayal. On the other hand, I had my amazing friends and family, a steady income and a growing social life. For the most part, I was doing okay, in part thanks to the honeymoon period after divorce. […]

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