Parting Gifts

My ex made sure that I didn’t leave the marriage empty-handed.

No, he gave me a parting gift.

Or actually, gifts.

And they keep on giving.


He left me with several unpaid (and unknown) debts in my name as well as an unpaid mortgage on the house he obtained in the divorce.

I thought I knew about all his gifts, but it turns out there was one (oh please, let it be only the one!) hidden for later discovery.


I finished paying off the last of the debt in my name last month after a generous gift from my father. Last night, I logged on to Credit Karma to check to see if the account had been marked as “paid.”

It had. But something else caught my eye.

It turns out my ex never made the last four payments on his car after the divorce. Yeah, the car he also obtained in the decree. Oh, and it goes without saying that my name was on that note as well.

I really hope karma was paying attention and notified the bank of his location so they could repossess the thing.

The part that makes me the angriest? My car is on its last legs and he got the “good” car and didn’t even pay for it.

Not that he’s paid for anything.

Sorry, frustrated today.


It’s the rare person that escapes divorce without some parting gifts.

For many of you, negotiating the custody and care of the kids is a constant source of stress.

Others are like me and face the ongoing financial burdens from divorce.

There can be ongoing health issues, employment concerns, housing difficulties.

Divorce certainly keeps on giving long after the papers are signed.


Amidst the frustrations of the night, I have some celebrations.

For the first time since the divorce, I was able to fully immerse myself in my credit report without any anxiety. Whereas before, I would either avoid looking or flood with anger and fear, this time I was able to be detached and unemotional. For the first time, I actually feel the hope. I’ve paid off everything I need to and, starting in 2015, the negative marks will fall off my record for the next few years. I can’t wait for the day when the only sign of him on my credit report is found in my former name.

This is also the first month in years where I do not have to make a payment on an account that paid for the honeymoon with the other wife and assorted other (and unknown) betrayals. My paycheck is mine.

I also am more aware than ever that the divorce was a gift. Even if it was wrapped in some pretty heinous packaging.


Thank you for sharing!

2 thoughts on “Parting Gifts

  1. You know what my first thought was when you said parting gifts? STDs. Thank God I guessed wrong. After finding out about all of my ex’s “activities” I got myself tested for everything. I was ok.
    Anyway, you’ve come a long way, you have achieved so much since then. Clearing your credit is a big deal. I know all about it, as I used to work for a credit card company. It takes a long time to get your scores up. Congrats.

    1. I got myself tested right away too. And again months later. Scary and shameful. Especially since he was my only partner. Luckily, I like you, was in the clear there.

      Thanks for the encouragement! Working on getting back the score that reflects me – not him:)

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