Dating After Divorce: Common Pitfalls

20 Responses

  1. This is a really great post – lots of good insights!!

  2. maryfran03 says:

    Great advice. Makes so much sense. But sometimes hard to think about.

  3. Lars Bolin says:

    Reblogged this on The Coachable Coach™ and commented:
    I’m working on a piece about how the emotion of loneliness (usually associated with a negative feeling, anti-social and “isolated” feeling) and solitude (more often associated with a more “exploratory”, mindful feeling of “freedom”), and how these feelings relates to, and defines, your behavior. Found your blog post of great interest and value for not only dating after divorce but for the struggle people who don’t feel they are good enough or wanted, go through.

  4. Reblogged this on Something to Stu (stew) Over and commented:
    Very good post on dating after divorce..especially for those dating a divorcee.

  5. Wow! Great post and I totally did that!

  6. Hank says:

    I came across this site in preparation for a divorce due to an abusive and adulterous wife but she was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and her death made it unnecessary. I nursed her into the grave which and took care of her.

    After what I experienced, “dating” is something I would avoid completely avoid any sort of “emotional” involvement. I found that starting with the physical and simply find someone who you get along with who is sexually compatible and work with that until one is ready to move on.

    Sex and intimacy are two different things as I know we all know and mixing the two too soon seems like a sure what to get hurt or strung out or hurt or whatever.

    Death and divorce are a long way away but am glad I am not dealing with a divorce which might sound harsh but when women are abused by men and that man gets killed there is a lot less judgment when if a woman was to say, “sorry son of a bitch got what he deserved.”

    When an abusive wife and mother is introduced to her Karma, what I experienced is that her circle of friends and employers try to paint her as something she was not.

    Good luck –

  7. It has been nearly a year since my husband left, I haven’t dated. I haven’t had a date, not one. I don’t believe I know how.

  8. John says:

    Making male and female friend after a divorce is most important. People to enjoy time with after all the stress you went through. Then dating can happen naturally, when you are ready for it. You make some great points, especially about superficial break-ups and past emotions.

  9. Josh says:

    I’m apparently susceptible to being blindsided. After being cheated on and abandoned by my wife (after 20 years together), my first real post-divorce relationship (year and half) just ended. Five days before she told me she wanted to call things off, she posted on Facebook that I was her best friend and that she “couldn’t be happier.” No lead up, no fight, no warning, no incident – I was completely caught off guard.

    It took a day before the full impact hit me but the result was a week of crying myself to sleep and not eating. I think there was definitely more wrapped up my feelings than just the break-up. It was the loss of trust again. She’d been kind and I eventually truly trusted her – which left me feeling shell-shocked and wondering – is this just how it goes? Do relationships just end this way? Is there something wrong with me that I can’t see these things coming?

    I’m still reeling. If this is indeed how relationships work, I just can’t imagine doing this over and over again without it hardening my heart beyond the point of ever being truly open again.

  1. October 25, 2014

    […] Marriage is no different. A relationship of any duration has history, arguments and issues that clutter the memory banks and may threaten to overrun the grass with weeds. An encounter with a new person, fresh and unsullied by the reality, can be intoxicating. […]

  2. November 10, 2014

    […] Dating again cannot stop heartbreak. All it can do is delay it for awhile. […]

  3. December 8, 2014

    […] first. It makes you question if you will ever really be better. If your spark is extinguished, you may find the secondary pain even worse than the initial trauma. This plummet may come when the honeymoon period after divorce […]

  4. April 18, 2019

    […] it can be lonelier to be on a date than to be by yourself. Once you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you’ve grown accustomed to a certain level of […]

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: