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I Hate Mums

19 Responses

  1. I think on some levels Ive done the same, minimized my own likes n dislikes to make him happy, but on other levels I think my strong bold opinionated attitude scared him off to someone less opinionated and weak… So many times now I hear him say “but u dont like ***….” and Im like , noooo, YOU dont like that, I just agreed cause you didnt, but I would like ****…. mostly trivial stuff like restaraunts, food, outtings with the kids…. Man if he thought I was over opinionated before, HAH! I already told him to be prepared because I am me, take me or leave me but Im not minimizing me any more! And… i like the color of the mums, but im not into them… look weird to me…
    Its amazing what a little insight into ourselves can do..

  2. Interesting. I hate mums, but mostly because they signify the end of summer. Also, they look fake to me, somehow– like wax flowers.

    I know what you mean about carefully modifying your tastes to align with someone else’s. It’s a good thing to recognize and address.

  3. Nephila says:

    I’ve done the same! Maybe we all do in trying to build something, to minimise differences. He gave up fettuccine puttanesca. I gave up a pink sofa. But the difference is I started to feel obliged to dislike the pink sofa. He still ordered puttanesca when we were out (just didn’t make it at home). I’m coming to the conclusion that selfless love is bound to be betrayed.

    • So do you have a pink sofa now? I bet it contains special ex-repellent properties!

      • Nephila says:

        Sadly I do not have a pink sofa yet. But I reclaimed my pink ottoman (heartshaped with stainless steel claw feet) from my mums. I had sent it to her when we went to live overseas and hadn’t got it back when we returned because Paul made fun of it.
        Hope one say to have a little desk nook in the end of the lounge with a pink mini sofa. In the meantime the pink ottoman is my daughters prized spot to sit while playing with her dolls house.

        You see, I stayed. He’s awfully remorseful and we get along ok now. It’ll never be the same, but it’s better than the alternative.

  4. Nephila says:

    By the way, here we call them Chryssies, I didn’t know what “mums” were. But it’s funny, here they are the Mother’s Day flower because of the season not the name. I like them because my kids always give them to me on Mother’s Day.

  5. bamboozled1 says:

    i hate people who say they hate everything!!!!

    he used to say that a lot;.. about any and everything… i hate this i hate that, i hate broccoli i hate pasta i hate bar soap i hate cats i hate everything in the whole entire worlddddddd!!! just let them be, sheesh. you dont have to love them, but whats the point in hating harmless random objects?

    is there a NEED to hate these things? i could understand, if, you know, a chrysanthemum ate your dog when you were a kid and took a chunk of your hand when you tried to save it (this is how irrational i think it is)… really? you hate them? heh. i used to say that a lot..

    but why do i hate people who do that? because, like you say… it makes me hate stuff too. its a really strong word. and it spreads way too easy. thinking about it now, it almost sounds like a control issue… spread hate, its an easy way to control people… *cough* hitler *cough*

  6. sassafrass20 says:

    I can totally relate to this! All the things I “liked” for fear of upsetting the precarious balance of my relationship. I love mums. I love their colors and blooms and all they represent. I love fall-the smell of the air, the crunch of leaves underfoot, the fond memories of marching season. Maybe, just maybe, we can both have that special ex-repellent!

  7. I wonder how much of what I used to like and dislike was to appease my ex. I recently went through the first anniversary of the divorce, and it really made me think about who I was when I was with him, and who I really am. Unfortunately, I have yet to find ex repellent. Perhaps, I should plant mums this year. He never had much luck with flowering plants 🙂

  8. kayjcee2014 says:

    Reblogged this on surfacing-finding your way after a divorce and commented:
    Funny when you realize how many things you really do like-now that you are no longer trying to keep the peace.

  9. Liv says:

    I totally understand. There are places that I thought I’d been to that I dream about often. One day I realized I’d never been there. Weird. But on another note – I hate mums. They look very fresh but smell bad. Nasty.

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