Role Play

This. Is. Life. Changing.

My mom clued me in recently to the Karpman Drama Triangle. It’s a simple and elegant tool that can help you understand and change dysfunctional relationships (not just romantic relationships – familial, friend and work too). This particular description really resonates with me because I think it is possible for everyone to recognize their own inherent behavioral trends and tendencies even if they fall short of the dysfunctional category.

And once you name it, you own it.

And what you own, you can change.


It’s a long read. But so worth it.

So, pour yourself a of beverage of your choice, find a comfortable seat and be ready to have your world rocked.



Thank you for sharing!

17 thoughts on “Role Play

  1. I can’t tell you how tired I am of grown adults playing the role of victim. Why is it that people just cannot take accountability for their actions and feel such a need to attack and place blame? I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Awesome post!!

      1. Well, I admit that I am a very weak person. I spent the majority of my life relying on others to support me. It wasn’t until this past year that I faced all my fears, got on my own two feet and am now able to support my son by myself. If I can do it (take accountability) so can anyone else. It just disgusts me.

  2. SassaFrassTheFeisty – Indianapolis, IN – I'm a mother of two-mostly amazing-kids. This is my journey towards healing from the ruin of my marriage and 10 year relationship to my kid's "dad", my stories of dealing with really good and really bad days, learning to cope and move on. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 with mania and ADHD-look! Something shiny!!-and Postpartum Depression. I love completely and passionately. Just don't piss me off, because I'll burn that bridge-and I'll stand on it and watch the flames consume everything. Sass 101 First-As my name suggests I am a Feisty Lil Thang. I tell it like it is. It is no holds barred on my blog. If you expect fluffy puppies, rainbows and sunshine, exit Stage Right because it ain't gonna be here. If you expect no cussing and positivity, and that I pray to a God or deity, exit Stage Left. That's not here either. What's here is real, honest, raw and truthful. This is my journey through the last 18 months from the separation of my husband and the JOYOUS roller coaster my family has been on. Oh yes, I did forget to mention-I am a sarcastic quick witted one. Sasscasm is trademarked by the ever Butch Blah. Don't mess with her Dragon, he eats assholes for breakfast. We have a tribe here that is very exclusive-seriously. If you're lucky enough to enter, you are worthy enough to partake in our Femme Speak. If not, just nod your head yes, and move on. I have Bipolar 1 with mania and I cycle into depression 2 times a year. This year has been an exception to the rule considering this year has just been shit. I've been to my local psych hospital twice in less than 10 months-once for depression, once for a psychotic episode resulting from over medication. YAY! Piss on that shit. If it hadn't been for Blah, I never would have gone. Thank you Blah. I lurve you! I have 2 kids-a boy I call NSLM-Not So Little Man-because Anxious Mom has her LM. Didn't want to steal her LM's thunder :) And I have a daughter referred to as Monkey-it's self explanatory. They are also referred to as my Heathens-yes I can call them that because I gave birth to them, I know them and they act like Heathens at times-just thank the Good Lord they aren't Hellians or I'd be in jail. I have an almost 5 year old purebred Red and Black German Shepherd named May-she's momma's baby, and Monkey is on her THRID guinea pig in about a year-thank her dad for that one. This one is S'mores and he's a wheeker and fat and fluffy. My kids and I live with my parents, because I'm not stable or healthy enough to work and live on my own. I have FINALLY found my magic pill cocktail-for now-and I have clarity for the first time in my life. I no longer use the word "stable" I use baseline. I've been on a lot of meds over the years, and since the last med I was on and overmedicated I have become med sensitive-SUPER YAY. I'm good at recognizing side effects and can tweak a med time better than a dr. Not cocky, just fact. I'm that in tune with my body. I'm also very emotionally charged. My emotions have always ruled my decisions, and I don't see that changing, but I am now better to stop and think things through before making a decision-some of the time. I'm mouthy, but I have a huge heart of gold, and I get hurt easily. And when I talk about people on here in my life off of WordPress they get their own special nicknames. DB-Douchebag. BBFL-Best Bitch For Life-My best friend in Alaska that I HOPE I get to see soon. EG-English Gentleman-a guy that I've bee talking to for a year that lives near Scotland and is on an 8 month trip around the world, and will be stateside in January. I can't wait to meet him in person! Cute Neighbor Guy. There were two guys that were named for the states they lived in, and I think I've deleted everything about Florida but the last post-Thank you Andrew for the title, you brilliant dictionary, you. Then there are my most supportive friends here: Anxious Mom, Andi, Zoe, Diane, Morgue, Blah, Chris, Sparkly Pants ;) Victo, Tessa, Bipolarfirst, bp7o9, Vic, Kitt, Leslie, and my newest BUDDY Andrew. I know I've forgotten some people and I SERIOUSLY apologize given the state of my brain haze, I hope you don't hate me!! I know you don't, I'm just overly dramatic. No I'm not...yeah, yes I am. ;) So, if you can't handle my sarcastic tongue and my cursing that can make sailors blush, the lobby exit is in the top right corner with a little X. That being said, I hope you new arrivals aren't just looking for blogs for numbers-this isn't that kind of blog. And I rather like interactive people on my little slice of the crazy pie-well, more like peach cobbler because it's my favorite but ANYWAY. I don't follow back just because you follow me. I may not be too picky about my food, but I'm picky about my men and the blogs I follow. With that, I shall bid you Welcome to Sasstopia, and may you stay to be among my Sassafrains. Reggie my Pegacorn is tethered out back as he doesn't do well with new people. I shall be shining my spork launcher on the table, next to my melon baller and grapefruit spoon all soaked in syphilis. If you have any questions, fucking ask. I don't do vague. LOVE YOU! <3
    sassafrass20 says:

    I recently discovered this in my PHP and we were only able to cover the very minimal basics. Thank you for sharing this! I am a SGR, and after reading half of this and telling my story in PHP, I know why. I am so ready to change my behavior. Thank you, thank you!! I will share this with the therapist so she may share with others in the group. I love your blog 🙂

  3. Interesting read…and I see myself in all of the roles at various times throughout various relationships. Isn’t this kind of a human condition of sorts? Obviously any one extreme is not healthy, but I would like to think that being in a position of a rescuer for another person in need (ie. bailing out a friend on hard times by providing groceries) may not always be a bad thing. Or being a persecutor, in a sense, of someone who has done something and they are not seeing the error of their ways (ie. a student in class who is continuously being disruptive) and need guidance. And we all get into a position of feeling victimized at some point or another (ie. someone breaks into your car and steals possessions). I wonder if there is a line where these things can be acceptable and a normal part of the human condition before crossing over into an unhealthy affliction that needs to be addressed.

    1. I definitely see a range in many of these. For example, there is a big difference between stepping in for someone who needs help and taking it to the extreme of enabling. The disfunction comes from the constant shifting of blame and responsibility.

      1. I think the hard part for me is that the blame was shifted to me so often, that I did start to believe that it must be me that was dysfunctional. I was wrong for asking for what I needed. I was wrong for having expectations. I was wrong for needing help. I was wrong for offering suggestions. I was wrong for taking responsibility. etc. Now that I am out of the primary relationship I’m beginning to come out of the fog and realize that there are healthy ways to be all of those things on the triangle…and I tend to lean more to the healthy than the unhealthy. It helps to see it in the context of what traits about each characteristic would classify as taking it too far and being unhealthy. Thanks for the insight. 🙂

      1. Yeah, I’m finding that learning about psychology has the potential to seem like this big rabbit hole of hopelessness and it often triggers my black and white thinking. Now, when I realize that’s what’s happening for me I just stop reading what I’m reading and look for something positive.

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