14 thoughts on “My Story – Part 1

  1. Lisa – Having read your blog for a while now, I knew your story somewhat already…but WATCHING you tell it, and listening, was something entirely different. Very, very powerful and extremely moving!

    I have so much respect for how you’ve handled the end of your first marriage – and that you’ve turned the experience into something inspiring. I don’t know that I’ve taken the time to comment here before…but I wanted to say thank you for that!!

  2. Happilyeverafter1959 – Minnesota – Photographer, Writer, Artist, Gardener, Mother, Grandmother, Daughter, Sister, Friend. I am learning how to navigate a new chapter in my life. I was in a relationship for 30 years and now I am not. Stranger things could happen. And they have. I am blogging my way to freedom of that relationship and into the next hopefully happier part of my life. Join me as I share my thoughts and fears and trials along the way. Currently writing about my Disability that is Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and how I am dealing, or not dealing with it post divorce.
    Happilyeverafter1959 says:

    Everytime I hear, or read your story, it brings me to tears. My husband also left me in a heartbeat after never giving me any indication that he was unhappy. Now that I look back there were signs something was
    amiss. But of course I invented stories, made assumptions etc. I am so happy you made this video! It’s only been 13 months for me since my life went up in smoke after a 30 year relationship. Difference is, I know where he is and his lifestyle is a far cry from what ours was. He had been leading a double life for at least half of our marriage. It astounds me how someone, anyone, could do these things. I see that telling it still brings tears to your eyes. I cry everyday. Some days more than others. I am still in therapy once a week. And it has destroyed my family in so many ways. We have 3 daughters and 3 grandkids. We are all shattered. The destruction these sociopaths leave is life changing in so many many ways. I am finally starting to see some glimmers of hope for a better life. But right now. I still worry most days about my future. I was a stay at home mother and wife. I relied solely on his income. He led me to believe that I would never have to worry about anything. Fortunately I am still in my home with my oldest and my 3 grandchildren and we are helping each other through the divorce process. She is also in the throws of a divorce. He has continued to support me financially so far. For that I am grateful. But I fear each day that he will do as yours did and flee. I am planning and bracing for that outcome and hope that it never comes to pass. Now to get up the courage to file for divorce. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am grateful and am learning so much from your experience.

    Blessings, Sue

  3. SassaFrassTheFeisty – Indianapolis, IN – I'm a mother of two-mostly amazing-kids. This is my journey towards healing from the ruin of my marriage and 10 year relationship to my kid's "dad", my stories of dealing with really good and really bad days, learning to cope and move on. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 with mania and ADHD-look! Something shiny!!-and Postpartum Depression. I love completely and passionately. Just don't piss me off, because I'll burn that bridge-and I'll stand on it and watch the flames consume everything. Sass 101 First-As my name suggests I am a Feisty Lil Thang. I tell it like it is. It is no holds barred on my blog. If you expect fluffy puppies, rainbows and sunshine, exit Stage Right because it ain't gonna be here. If you expect no cussing and positivity, and that I pray to a God or deity, exit Stage Left. That's not here either. What's here is real, honest, raw and truthful. This is my journey through the last 18 months from the separation of my husband and the JOYOUS roller coaster my family has been on. Oh yes, I did forget to mention-I am a sarcastic quick witted one. Sasscasm is trademarked by the ever Butch Blah. Don't mess with her Dragon, he eats assholes for breakfast. We have a tribe here that is very exclusive-seriously. If you're lucky enough to enter, you are worthy enough to partake in our Femme Speak. If not, just nod your head yes, and move on. I have Bipolar 1 with mania and I cycle into depression 2 times a year. This year has been an exception to the rule considering this year has just been shit. I've been to my local psych hospital twice in less than 10 months-once for depression, once for a psychotic episode resulting from over medication. YAY! Piss on that shit. If it hadn't been for Blah, I never would have gone. Thank you Blah. I lurve you! I have 2 kids-a boy I call NSLM-Not So Little Man-because Anxious Mom has her LM. Didn't want to steal her LM's thunder :) And I have a daughter referred to as Monkey-it's self explanatory. They are also referred to as my Heathens-yes I can call them that because I gave birth to them, I know them and they act like Heathens at times-just thank the Good Lord they aren't Hellians or I'd be in jail. I have an almost 5 year old purebred Red and Black German Shepherd named May-she's momma's baby, and Monkey is on her THRID guinea pig in about a year-thank her dad for that one. This one is S'mores and he's a wheeker and fat and fluffy. My kids and I live with my parents, because I'm not stable or healthy enough to work and live on my own. I have FINALLY found my magic pill cocktail-for now-and I have clarity for the first time in my life. I no longer use the word "stable" I use baseline. I've been on a lot of meds over the years, and since the last med I was on and overmedicated I have become med sensitive-SUPER YAY. I'm good at recognizing side effects and can tweak a med time better than a dr. Not cocky, just fact. I'm that in tune with my body. I'm also very emotionally charged. My emotions have always ruled my decisions, and I don't see that changing, but I am now better to stop and think things through before making a decision-some of the time. I'm mouthy, but I have a huge heart of gold, and I get hurt easily. And when I talk about people on here in my life off of WordPress they get their own special nicknames. DB-Douchebag. BBFL-Best Bitch For Life-My best friend in Alaska that I HOPE I get to see soon. EG-English Gentleman-a guy that I've bee talking to for a year that lives near Scotland and is on an 8 month trip around the world, and will be stateside in January. I can't wait to meet him in person! Cute Neighbor Guy. There were two guys that were named for the states they lived in, and I think I've deleted everything about Florida but the last post-Thank you Andrew for the title, you brilliant dictionary, you. Then there are my most supportive friends here: Anxious Mom, Andi, Zoe, Diane, Morgue, Blah, Chris, Sparkly Pants ;) Victo, Tessa, Bipolarfirst, bp7o9, Vic, Kitt, Leslie, and my newest BUDDY Andrew. I know I've forgotten some people and I SERIOUSLY apologize given the state of my brain haze, I hope you don't hate me!! I know you don't, I'm just overly dramatic. No I'm not...yeah, yes I am. ;) So, if you can't handle my sarcastic tongue and my cursing that can make sailors blush, the lobby exit is in the top right corner with a little X. That being said, I hope you new arrivals aren't just looking for blogs for numbers-this isn't that kind of blog. And I rather like interactive people on my little slice of the crazy pie-well, more like peach cobbler because it's my favorite but ANYWAY. I don't follow back just because you follow me. I may not be too picky about my food, but I'm picky about my men and the blogs I follow. With that, I shall bid you Welcome to Sasstopia, and may you stay to be among my Sassafrains. Reggie my Pegacorn is tethered out back as he doesn't do well with new people. I shall be shining my spork launcher on the table, next to my melon baller and grapefruit spoon all soaked in syphilis. If you have any questions, fucking ask. I don't do vague. LOVE YOU! <3
    sassafrass20 says:

    That was seriously brave to post your video. Thank you for posting it for women like me that are fresh out of a marriage and are looking for inspiring, strong women to look up too. For me, everything is still very raw, so I have a HUGE flux of emotions that I am trying to sort through. I am so very glad I decided to start the healing process here…there really are some amazing women here-and you are one of them! 🙂

  4. Cory Pasqualetto – I'm in my 40's I've had two marriages and have worked various jobs in my lifetime from supermarkets to restaurants to Information Tech. This started out as a continuation of my divorce story but since my last romantic partner passed away suddenly without any warning it has now become more of a place to write out my thoughts and feelings. I have made most of my teenage dreams and fantasies come true and now I need to figure out what else to do.
    StartingOver says:

    WOW…That was just emotionally heartbreaking. To make the video and post it took a lot of courage and strength that I don’t have. It actually places a more I guess you could say “human” touch to your writings.
    As I have told you before you are a string remarkable woman to make it through everything you went through.
    Thank you for making this video ( I look forward to part 2) and keep up the great work. You give me hope that maybe I can fall in love again!!!

  5. I have followed you for some time and always look forward to your posts. I watched the “Karma is…” episode which was great but I agree with the other commentors…watching and listening to you recount your story conveys the raw emotion that accompanies the stories of infidelity and loss that so often get lost, or can not be conveyed in the written word. You show how heart wrenching these experiences are to those of us that who share similar experiences and you validate our feelings. You also tell us that the pain lingers and we should not criticize ourselves for not “getting over it” in the length of time others consider appropriate. I have been divorced now for 5 1/2 years after 27 1/2 years of marriage (and finding out about at least 25 affairs in that period of time, family money spent on meals, trips & gifts, secret separate accounts etc.) I still cry nearly every day and I cried for you today and share your pain. I am certainly looking forward to part 2. Thank you!

  6. Michelle – I am a middle-aged mother of three young men. After an unexpected divorce and the natural progression of children leaving the nest, I decided to get my masters. I am a non-traditional grad student learning to love my new norm. These are just some of my thoughts.
    Michelle says:

    Reblogged this on Missives by Michelle and commented:
    I have always said “Someone has a story worse than yours”. Well, that is definitely true. I just sat breathless through two parts of a divorce horror story. I will pass them on one at a time. I do this for two reasons. The first, to make my point, there is always something worse. The second, for people to know that you are not the only one out there suffering. Everyone has a story.

  7. mochalovegoddess – Indiana – I'm a happily divorced single 30 something year old mom of 2. Connect with me outside of Wordpress via email baldgirladventures@gmail.com
    NaTasha says:

    Your transparency is refreshing and speaks to me and many ways. Divorce is a process and not many people are willing or able to shed light on the emotional process. You have captured everything from wanting answers, to being caught off guard, putting the pieces back together and support from unexpected sources. Thank you for your raw emotions.

  8. OMG, I just cried my eyes out, just when I thought I couldn’t cry more. I found your blog because of a search on my own life ‘issues’ and a search for my own understanding, and am starting this read from the beginning. Oh, the pain you must have gone through, I feel every emotion and am so so so sorry you had to go through this. Right now I am suffering through a similar experience – right down to being blindsided that my husband and father to our three kids, is engaged to another woman. I’ll continue on reading and watching, as I have a lot to catch up on but love your reassurance that we shouldn’t think we have it the worst, and that we are going through something no one has. The more I dive into what I’m going through, the more I realize that it’s not uncommon – and that is just tragic …

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