Footprints on My Heart

10 Responses

  1. momfawn says:

    And sometimes just having that new someone holding your hand doubles your courage and frees you to move ahead to something wonderful. – Fawn

  2. I don’t think we choose. Life finds us. Love finds us. We might say never again and someone knocks on the door that surprises us. We might say I am ready and wait for years, turning away each potential because in truth we aren’t. I think, honestly we each of us have to step outside of ourselves, heal and at the same time be open to the world. Acknowledge our hurt, but be open.

  3. Audrey says:

    This post addresses my biggest fear. While I’m alone (single) I feel quite strong, emotionally well balanced and accepting of who I am. My fear is just that. I’m single. There’s no one to test any of the above. I’m afraid when I get into another relationship (I’m just 5 months separated from my husband) all of that will go out the window and I’ll make the same exact mistakes, or turn into the same unhappy person I was when I was married and the pattern will repeat itself. I’m so afraid I will never learn how to have a healthy relationship. I feel like I would need to be in couples counseling right from the very first date! 🙂

    • One step at a time:)

      Think of it like a diver coming up from the depths and stopping at certain points to acclimate. Figure out the single stuff first, then the early dating, then the commitment and so forth.

      Sorry about the mixed metaphors!

  4. Amy Watson says:

    I completely, 100% disagree with her. O my God did I try to do it alone though. Fortunately for me I had too many people in my life who wouldn’t let me–they took shifts, somebody was always there for the “firsts”…which ironically enough I had one of today–7 years post divorce. My marriage was filled with infidelity and abuse, for 12 years. And the message I send to those following me: 1) surround yourself with “2AM” friends 2) get help and 3) it won’t always feel like this. I do hear her on the waiting to date thing, though. Divorce is so bloody painful, I’m not sure I would survive another one. Anyway there are many of us blogging on this subject–& with each painful post, I get somebody I don’t even know writing to me. So, keep up the good work!

  5. I agree that is not possible to heal alone.
    The connections for the healing process do not have to come from a love relationship. One thing I have discovered about being alone is that I am having deeper relationships with others in my life (mother, sister, friends, etc) and those issues of vulnerability and trust are addressed in those relationships as well… as the healing continues.

    • Yes! Although there are a few elements that are only true for romantic relationships, the key ones of trust and vulnerability can be found with other relationships. I, too, found that I had deeper relationships with others after. It’s one of the strange upsides of betrayal.

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