15 Responses

  1. In life if you don’t adapt, you die. No-one can tell you how to feel or for how long.
    You take it at your own pace, “Because it shows that I can take a licking and keep on ticking.” 🙂 That will be the result when you are ready. 😀

  2. Rachel says:

    Love the sprained ankle analogy; particularly since I used to sprain my ankles all the time as a kid – but I kept sprinting and the ankles eventually became stronger, more stable. 🙂 Anyhow, your story reminds me of some of the leftover crap I deal with now, at 40, from battling breast cancer in my late twenties and early thirties. Subtle reminders (scars, nerve damage, radiation side effects) are still present, and they can be frustrating at times, but they’ve never held me back and never will! 😉

  3. FireWalker says:

    Love it! I have not had anyone tell me to get over it. I am considering my response if someone did……..I’m feeling it would be a negative response, maybe. Maybe not I have responded so differently to some things than I ever thought I would. You can’t fix stupid or insensitivity.

  4. Excellent analogy. Thanks so much for writing this. I’ve been there and done that, and have had to deal with people who are insensitive and/or ignorant of the way things are. There is a book titled “The Body Remembers” about how the body (and therefore the brain) remembers any deep trauma. (Like divorce!!)
    And you’re right. Even though we may not welcome the struggle, it is through surviving and maturing that we gain wisdom, and then we’re that much stronger for the next challenge.

    • It is SO the body that remembers. When I saw my ex at a festival last year, my mind was really okay. The body? Anything but. I felt literally sick for almost 24 hours, trembling, nauseous, etc. I have also found that when I get anxious, it easier to treat the body first and let the mind follow.

      I love seeing how Cesar Millan uses this. He intentionally will place the dog’s head, tail or ears to mimic the desired behavior. And it works.

      Thanks for sharing the book:)

  5. Hank says:

    I tore my ankle so bad that I have a twelve inch scar from where it was graphed and found you analogy interesting and although I would agree to an extent, there is the reality of one day putting a specific event in the past away.

    I came across your website during one of the evening that spouse have dealing with an adulterous spouse who was well on her way to using the sex in an effort to provoke me to abandon the marriage, family so she could coral the income she made and stashed during my years changing diapers and being a stay at home. I noticed your blog and story because it seemed as ugly as the one I was dealing with. I am fortunate to not be dewing with a divorce as the woman who I marriages who went to great lengths to set her self up well and divorce me was diagnosed terminal and died last year.

    Although my ankle had an ugly scar from surgery and the bone and tendons are misshapen and extremely sensitive, I rarely speak of it, have not reason, I know the scar is there, but just keep walking while avoiding objects and people who would irrigate that injury. I do believe there comes a time that the past is the past and now and the future is all that matters. There does come a time when one says, “it is over, it is dead, move on.” Injuries teaches one to watch and take care of ones bodies and it is a sad fact that too often people can cause injuries which are on the same level.

  6. Coach Lars says:

    Reblogged this on The Blog of a Life Coach and commented:
    Sprained ankle – Sprained relationship…learn from this! Great blog post!

  7. Joy says:

    Awesome analogy- thank you for sharing. I too sprained my ankle 16 years ago and while I don’t think about it daily, the scar tissue remains… and when I can’t do a particular bend or squat the way I want… I remember and am easier on myself as a result.

    • Yup. It’s one of those things you don’t always think about yet it is impossible to forget all of the time.

      Think they’ll ever have ankle replacement surgery? Quick and painless, of course:)

  8. We never, ever get over injuries. Never. Whether those injuries are physical or otherwise. People who don’t understand that each and every injury leaves a calling card are cretins. My body is criss-crossed with scars, well over 300 stitches, well over 30 surgeries, two strokes that we know of, 50 grand mal seizures that we know of; the list goes on and on. The list of fall out from the injuries, well some are above of course and some are not. Those are just the physical, nevermind what it did to my emotional and spiritual. Recently I saw a meme:

    Just because I am strong enough to handle the pain doesn’t mean I deserve it.

    It is true. The other truth is, we either learn to work within and through our new realities or we crawl into our bed and stay there. While this might be tempting (it is), it is no way to live life. I cry every single time I am not doing what I should be doing to get passed the physical pain and back to the gym. The analogy you have used, too true. You inspire.

  1. March 30, 2014

    […] better depends upon perspective. You have to remember how bad bad could be to realize that it’s not so bad anymore. Healing is often subtle. The pain may have come in a great crashing wave, but it recedes like the […]

  2. November 10, 2014

    […] Just because divorce is something you can’t simply “get over,” it doesn’t mean it has to hold you back. […]

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