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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Resistance is Futile

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Resistance is futile.

So why do I grip in my hamstrings as I bend to touch my toes?

Resistance is futile.

So why do I kick up excuses at well-aimed suggestions?

Resistance is futile.

So why do I struggle against change?


Perhaps because resistance is human.


We assume that everything will be a struggle and so we prepare to fight.

We want to maintain the status quo rather than face the fear of the unknown so we put up opposition.

We strive to hold on to what we have even when we would better to let go.


Resistance may be futile, but we have raised that futility to an art form.


And recently, I’ve deserved gallery space to highlight my performance art of resistance.

Rather than accept the nature of a middle school preparing for the spring testing season, I’ve been struggling against it. Wasting energy wishing it was different and bemoaning the state it’s in. The reality is that it is not going to change. I can look back at my March posts from the previous two years and see the same struggle. Yet, if I choose not to resist, if I go with the flow of March and April, May will come at the same pace as it would if I railed against the reality. And I would probably be in a better place to greet it.

Rather than accept the overwhelming nature of learning a new career (the one I just passed a test and obtained licensure for), I’ve been struggling against the natural learning curve. I’m dependent upon others for training and I’m letting myself grow frustrated when it can’t happen on my timeline. But that frustration doesn’t change anything other than my attitude.

But wait, it gets better.

Rather than accept the weather of the day, I’ve been resisting the remnants of winter and exiting my hibernation prematurely. I’ve been spotted wearing open toed shoes and sleeveless tops. While silently complaining about the weather.

Rather than allowing myself my much-needed cognitive cool-down in the evenings, I’ve been working up until I head to bed. The result? My body tries to sleep while my brain resists, generating ideas and solving problems that interrupt my sleep.

Rather than recognizing my computer’s slowing as a sign to restart, I soldier on while pages take eons to load and applications crash.


Wow. It all seems so silly when I write it down. I’ve basically been shadow boxing. Against myself. Resisting for the sake of resistance.

But resistance is futile.

Even if I put down my gloves, May will come, I will learn my new trade and the weather will warm.

Last night, I gave myself the gift of a rebooted computer (who is now loading happily) and an evening without thought of work or writing.

And I feel much better after giving up the struggle.


There are certainly times in life where you have to fight. But those are fewer and farther between than we usually realize. Take the time to look at the struggle in your life and eliminate the battles that are against yourself. Save your energy for the real fights.


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7 thoughts on “Resistance is Futile

  1. Very nicely said, ironic, I had a week of stress and finally said enough is enough! I took today, Sunday, and planned nothing, I stayed in bed an extra hour, and have a very low key day. I encourage my residents to take a deep breath, now its my turn:)

    1. What is this rest you speak of? Rest has always been something I struggle with. I put it off until I’m done, but many tasks are never done. My husband is helping me get better at taking breathers throughout the day. Still practicing… πŸ™‚

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