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Snipe Hunt

25 Responses

  1. Katie says:

    God, this sounds exactly like my (soon-to-be-ex-) husband. Only his snipe is another woman. Uggggh. What fools.

  2. Great post. Narcissistic issues, I presume? As well as financial infidelity, too. Very tough and complex.

    I, too, didn’t see the signs of change.

    1. He wanted some new clothes. Thought the ones he had “were out of date.” This is coming from a man that hadn’t bought a pair of socks for himself in over 15+ years.
    2. He hated the underwear I bought him that early summer. I guess they were too baggy? huh?
    3. He bought really colorful tshirts (orange, turquoise, yellow). This is a man who wears tshirts to work each day and only cared that they were clean.
    4. He went “shopping” for a bicycle in August or early September. Come to find out his OW was an avid cyclist. He never bought one. I also found out that this was the excuse to meet with the OW to kiss her for the first time.

    Looking back, those were some of the signs. Looking back, I get whiplash.

    No more looking back for me (at least, I’m trying). I need to look forward and look at the man who is my husband today.

  3. Katie says:

    Reblogged this on The Opposite Side of the Street and commented:
    I realllllllllly relate to this in terms of Peter and his quest to find “what he wants out of life.” Problem is, the snipe he’s chasing is Lila. Or rather, he thinks it’s Lila. Instead of doing the actual work to look inside himself and find what he wants, to get away from her and take real, genuine time to even consider whether his marriage and his family are part of what might bring him true happiness, he’s instead investing *everything* in the idea that Lila *is* that happiness. As much as I want to believe in true love and finding that kind of connection in another person, even I know that you shouldn’t throw away your wife, your son, your family, and your career to be with a woman who won’t do the same (other than drop her husband) for you. So good luck with that, Peter. Hope you find all the snipe you’ve been dreaming about for so long.

  4. movingliquid says:

    Beautifully said. Thank you.

  5. AddieMarie says:

    I feel the exact same way about my husbands drug/alcohol use…for a long time he has trying to use them to fill a void in him and it’s only been making things worse. :/

  6. My (ex) husband had a ‘shopaholic’ mentality that became more and more difficult the last year or two before he left me. At the time, I never saw it as a sign of anything sinister. However, indeed it was.

  7. Coach Lars says:

    Reblogged this on The Blog of a Life Coach and commented:
    Find happiness within – then you may share “your happy self” with others 🙂

    Remember the best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

    Material things never replace the reward of a soul mate who travels on the same path as you. Compatibility, trust and respect paves the road long term.

  8. You could be describing my life, my head and heart hurts.

  9. NZ _kiwi says:

    Yes! That describes my (soon to be) ex husband to a tee! Deep down I knew it – we’d even talked about it when we first started getting serious. After a while he would tell me how happy he was with me and that we had the perfect life. Unfortunately, that probably was a sign – and he ended up seeking happiness with another woman with whom he’s about to pursue a relationship. He’s on a quest – but one I don’t understand and one where he’s looking in all the wrong places.

    Thanks for the post – it puts things so well!

  10. Anonymous says:

    So, so, so, so, so, SO true. Add tattoos (that don’t even have any sentimental attachment), spankin’ new white undershirts and CK briefs to the list for my ex-husband. Hundreds of dollars worth of books, a startling increase in the Jameson’s intake, and military-style clothes for the ex-fiancé . . . (I guess the Russian hat should have been a real red flag, since the chick on the side is Russian . . .)
    *heavy sigh*
    Why do we not ever listen to our gut? (I think we’re too afraid of what it’s saying . . . )

    • So true about afraid of what the gut is saying!!!

      Tattoos are a great addition to the list – mine was talking about getting a devil and angel on his shoulders. Wonder if he ever went through with it…

  11. Theresa says:

    So how do you find the happiness within?

    • stilllearning2b says:

      No single answer. I’ve written a lot about this, but all starts with shifting the energy away from him and what happened and towards you.

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