33 Responses

  1. Wonderful metaphor. So true. We don’t know how much that other person affects our lives until suddenly we are without them.

  2. Beautifully written, and so true… thank you.

  3. I felt this very deeply this week. Thank you for putting it into words!

  4. Many thanks for sharing it on an evening when it was just what I needed!

  5. AddieMarie says:

    Excellent analogy that exactly describes how I am feeling as I go through the divorce process. Thank you for your wonderful blog 🙂

  6. William says:

    Interesting. In you analyses, for yourself and your readers, you could add to this piece the dynamic of personal loss in the event of the death of a spouse or partner. People tend to get displaced too quickly with the absence of a partner, spouse as with those people who are not whole without their significance and/or those people who are “incomplete” without their significant others. There is a dynamic associated with death and permanent displacement that would make this piece complete.

    • I think the reason I cam to this analogy was that my divorce was as sudden as an unexpected death. As for the incomplete part, there is certainly a temptation to replace one body with another. way too soon. It replaces the volume yet does not heal the loss. Thanks for your thoughts!

  7. Perfect metaphor. I added a dog, much easier on the heart for now, is that a bonus point?

  8. This is an excellent post. The analogy is awesome.

  9. Yesterday my house was eerily quiet and unnerving. I purposefully left it that way for a greater portion of it. I challenged myself to be okay with the absence of others, as well as music or television. Tools I tend to use to fill the void. Often times I am not even actively watching it, but knitting or facebooking etc…..
    All tools to distract from the loneliness.
    I let myself feel, and cry and mourn once again.
    This visual you gave, took me back to a place that has been hard for me. I didn’t take a bath in my tub for maybe 6 months, afraid to face the memories there.
    I have recently challenged myself there too.
    It gets easier…..
    But the void is still there.
    The memories bubbling up and fading.
    Feeling the need to share the space in my heart.
    But when it’s quiet I know that I am not ready.
    The ghosts linger.
    When I can be still and happy, and okay with that.
    Then maybe……just maybe, I’ll take a chance.
    But I need to be whole with myself first.

    As always,
    Thank you!

    • Oh boy, do I relate. I used to intentionally distract myself to avoid feeling the void. I would occasionally challenge myself with solitude and silence. Yeah, those were rough times at first. Sounds like you’re doing the right stuff. Just keep going and healing. And maybe add a rubber ducky to that tub of yours:)

  10. Bravo, I very well explained. I have been struggling with this for the last couple of days. Very well explained.

  11. Reblogged this on A Divorced Dad's Ramblings and commented:
    This goes hand in hand with some of the thoughts this I have been posting lately. Please give it a read.

  12. Dani says:

    I just read this post. This is so interesting. I’m 4 months into being separated from my husband and one of the things that has been getting me through is quiet, reflective time in the tub each night. It’s been very comforting.

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