After Divorce: From Surviving to Thriving

Days after my tsunami divorce, my mom turned to me and told me I would survive.

I actually got angry and responded rather strongly, “No, I will not survive. I will thrive. To do anything less is to remain his victim.”

I saw surviving as the bare minimum, the mere intake of breath and food in order to go through the motions of life. I refused to settle for that. I wanted more. It felt insurmountable, yet the vision and hope remained intact.

Inspired by Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, these goals can serve to help you navigate the challenging path after divorce and take you from merely surviving to thriving.


The first tier of goals are about your literal survival. In the beginning, it is enough to simply focus on your next breath. And then the one after that. The goal is to keep you alive and functioning. These physical needs must be addressed first before any further progress can be made. Read the rest here to learn how to go from merely surviving to beautifully thriving!

Thank you for sharing!

9 thoughts on “After Divorce: From Surviving to Thriving

  1. Soon I will cross that bridge. In a month or so she is moving much will change BUT I know I will do more than just survive or “get by.” I intend to thrive, just like you said, and be happy. Still there are those steps I have to take, allow the process to take place.

    I appreciate your blog.

  2. dorothyemyers – Roughly between the California Redwoods and the Pacific Ocean – Help each other. Love everyone. Every leaf. Every ray of light. Forgive...The only way to be happy is to love. Unless you love, your life will flash by.--Terrence Mallick, "The Tree of Life"
    dorothyemyers says:

    I love this, smart and practical. I remember going through the surviving parts, but didn’t realize it. The people who helped me did though, and didn’t let me underestimate how much I needed to heal.

    I’m still working on surviving, wrapping that up, and moving into thriving, re-discovering myself, scary and rewarding.

    Thank you for this post.

    1. Friends and family are often key to that early survival – we usually aren’t able to recognize and provide all that we need at that point. Glad you had support and happy to hear you’re moving forward!

  3. I am so sorry your marriage came to end that way, know that he is a coward and that you are brave and the two do not mix. I hope to read many more happy posts of thriving from you. Personally, I am still just surviving and it is nice to know someone ahead of me is on her way to “better” and not broken.

  4. Lori – Happy, athletic, creative newlywed and mom trying to nourish who I am every day. Love photography, inspiring others, writing, playing volleyball and softball, and being a great mom to my 4 kids. Looking to learn every day and make connections with great people!
    Lori says:

    Love, love, love this! Thriving is exactly what you’ve done. Here’s to strong women!

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