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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Don’t Just Survive. Thrive.

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Days after my tsunami divorce, my mom turned to me and told me I would survive.

I actually got angry and responded rather strongly, “No, I will not survive. I will thrive. To do anything less is to remain his victim.”


I saw surviving as the bare minimum; the mere intake of breath and food in order to go through the motions of life. I refused to settle for that. I wanted more. It felt insurmountable, yet the vision and hope remained intact.

Almost five years on, and I am happy to report that I am thriving, due in large part to the four behaviors discussed in this awesome article that discusses resiliency and the difference between thriving and merely surviving.

You deserve to thrive. Learn how to take yourself off life support so that you can flourish.

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26 thoughts on “Don’t Just Survive. Thrive.

          1. Thanks for being a source of support, inspiration, and motivation that reminds me that thriving is possible and that true love exists! Get ready to rock those stylish specs . . .

  1. We are on exactly the SAME wavelength. I agree…why survive when we can thrive. Love your blog, it really resonates with my exact emotions I find myself going through this year.

  2. I love this! I defo have that quality and that desire to not survive but thrive – as someone who has lived through trauma, to be ‘a survivor of trauma’ is often the phrase and I don’t know why, but it’s always grated me. Now I realise it’s because I’m not a survivor – I’m a thriver, thank you very much! I am building my life based on the foundations of strength all that shit has given me. I’m not just gonna survive. But, I know that this quality means I give myself a super hard time if I feel like I’m not thriving in whatever stage or moment of my life I’m in. Like, just daily life stuff feels like a ball ache. I want FUN, achievement, a sense of adventure, connection, beauty…and slowly I’m seeing that the moments of every day life, is where the thriving happens…maybe even the most. Like, if we can thrive with, and in the ‘mundane’ bits of life, then we’re not just surviving at all. Will check out that article. I’m glad you didn’t just agree to surviving 🙂

    1. You are SO dead on about being hard on oneself when not operating at the optimum. I have to remind myself that it’s okay (even good) to take a metaphorical child’s pose and simply recover sometimes. Glad you’re part of the thriver’s club!

      1. Hey love,
        I’ve been writing for a couple of online magazines, so this blog’s gone a little quiet for now, but I thought I’d get in touch because if you want to follow these other words, let me know your email and I’ll send you over the link! (I keep my name separate from this blog)
        It’s sorta like a continuation of this blog but with my name attached and being read by a wider audience 🙂 love.

  3. Before I comment I did want to say that I truly believe that you HAVE been one to thrive after divorce, and indeed an inspiration to us all. However, I do not believe it was those characteristics the author mentions that were the ones that defined that in you. In fact the author says it herself when she describes them “The following habits can make the difference between getting up in the morning to face the day when life gets hard and wanting to crawl back under the covers”.
    In other words, they are strategies that help you cope when life is really at its worst, they are the ones that get you to the point of survival, they may even assist in helping you bounce back to where you were. They are really important tactics and help those who use them become grateful contented people who enjoy life. However, thriving is SO much more. Thriving is a complete revolution or evolution into something much bigger and better than ever before; and that takes a lot more than the habits she mentioned. Dare I say it, it involves listening to some of those ‘creative inspirational’ ideas for the future, having a belief in oneself, and courage to step out of your comfort zone and to go for them. I believe it is those attitudes that make the difference in people who thrive setting them apart from those who merely survive.

  4. Shortly after my divorce I too decided to fight back and be a better me than I was in that moment. However, it appeared over time as ‘life’ happened, I became a victim to my own thoughts and prior life once again. I seem to be stuck in this endless cycle of victim, survivor, thrive-er and am looking to break the cycle once and for all. Thank you for sharing-

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