Don’t Just Survive. Thrive.

Days after my tsunami divorce, my mom turned to me and told me I would survive.

I actually got angry and responded rather strongly, “No, I will not survive. I will thrive. To do anything less is to remain his victim.”

 

I saw surviving as the bare minimum; the mere intake of breath and food in order to go through the motions of life. I refused to settle for that. I wanted more. It felt insurmountable, yet the vision and hope remained intact.

Almost five years on, and I am happy to report that I am thriving, due in large part to the four behaviors discussed in this awesome article that discusses resiliency and the difference between thriving and merely surviving.

You deserve to thrive. Learn how to take yourself off life support so that you can flourish.

Thank you for sharing!

26 thoughts on “Don’t Just Survive. Thrive.

  1. Let's CUT the Crap! – Canada – I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!
    Let's CUT the Crap! says:

    I agree. Not survive. Thrive and I did it too. Can you see me smile?

      1. Let's CUT the Crap! – Canada – I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!
        Let's CUT the Crap! says:

        😀 You are a woman with true grit.

          1. Let's CUT the Crap! – Canada – I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!
            Let's CUT the Crap! says:

            *nods*

  2. Thrive is one of the words that is part of my 2014 “theme”. After nearly three years of surviving, and I am ready for thriving.

      1. Reading your comment both made me smile, and I look forward to shining so brightly that ya gotta wear shades;)

          1. Thanks for being a source of support, inspiration, and motivation that reminds me that thriving is possible and that true love exists! Get ready to rock those stylish specs . . .

  3. We are on exactly the SAME wavelength. I agree…why survive when we can thrive. Love your blog, it really resonates with my exact emotions I find myself going through this year.

  4. I love this! I defo have that quality and that desire to not survive but thrive – as someone who has lived through trauma, to be ‘a survivor of trauma’ is often the phrase and I don’t know why, but it’s always grated me. Now I realise it’s because I’m not a survivor – I’m a thriver, thank you very much! I am building my life based on the foundations of strength all that shit has given me. I’m not just gonna survive. But, I know that this quality means I give myself a super hard time if I feel like I’m not thriving in whatever stage or moment of my life I’m in. Like, just daily life stuff feels like a ball ache. I want FUN, achievement, a sense of adventure, connection, beauty…and slowly I’m seeing that the moments of every day life, is where the thriving happens…maybe even the most. Like, if we can thrive with, and in the ‘mundane’ bits of life, then we’re not just surviving at all. Will check out that article. I’m glad you didn’t just agree to surviving 🙂

    1. You are SO dead on about being hard on oneself when not operating at the optimum. I have to remind myself that it’s okay (even good) to take a metaphorical child’s pose and simply recover sometimes. Glad you’re part of the thriver’s club!

      1. Hey love,
        I’ve been writing for a couple of online magazines, so this blog’s gone a little quiet for now, but I thought I’d get in touch because if you want to follow these other words, let me know your email and I’ll send you over the link! (I keep my name separate from this blog)
        It’s sorta like a continuation of this blog but with my name attached and being read by a wider audience 🙂 love.

  5. elizabeth2560 – ABOUT ALMOST SPRING Two and a half years ago my 37 year marriage ended suddenly through no choice of my own. I survived the heartache. I have taken control of my present. I am planning my own destiny, which is moving onwards to a life of purpose and meaning. This is my journey.
    elizabeth2560 says:

    Before I comment I did want to say that I truly believe that you HAVE been one to thrive after divorce, and indeed an inspiration to us all. However, I do not believe it was those characteristics the author mentions that were the ones that defined that in you. In fact the author says it herself when she describes them “The following habits can make the difference between getting up in the morning to face the day when life gets hard and wanting to crawl back under the covers”.
    In other words, they are strategies that help you cope when life is really at its worst, they are the ones that get you to the point of survival, they may even assist in helping you bounce back to where you were. They are really important tactics and help those who use them become grateful contented people who enjoy life. However, thriving is SO much more. Thriving is a complete revolution or evolution into something much bigger and better than ever before; and that takes a lot more than the habits she mentioned. Dare I say it, it involves listening to some of those ‘creative inspirational’ ideas for the future, having a belief in oneself, and courage to step out of your comfort zone and to go for them. I believe it is those attitudes that make the difference in people who thrive setting them apart from those who merely survive.

  6. Shortly after my divorce I too decided to fight back and be a better me than I was in that moment. However, it appeared over time as ‘life’ happened, I became a victim to my own thoughts and prior life once again. I seem to be stuck in this endless cycle of victim, survivor, thrive-er and am looking to break the cycle once and for all. Thank you for sharing-

  7. Bumpkin Shannon – Now married 3 years, formerly single mom after an 18 year marriage. Two kids 14 and 13. We live in a rural area which means we have a pretty simple life, albeit a busy life. With a husband, two kids, six dogs, a full-time job, a big garden and whatever sports the kids are doing, I have a very full schedule. The thought of dating after the divorce terrified me because there was "slim pickins" in my area - or so I thought. Boy, was I wrong! So, I decided to just have fun. I laughed. I cheered at ballgames. I sat in the moonlight and listened to night sounds. I went hiking with friends. I had interesting conversations. I read good books. I became... me again. I'm still making the most of every single moment. This is my life. I make no apologies. I'm not perfect. I have good days and bad, just like everyone else. I just happen to like to write about it :)
    Bumpkin Shannon says:

    I, too, felt this way after my divorce. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  8. ““No, I will not survive. I will thrive. To do anything less is to remain his victim.”

    This words touched me, thank you.

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