Ready. Set. Face.

10 Responses

  1. I think about that daily, when things will really come to the breaking point. I am still in the house, see my kids daily, get along with my wife well and I still have a hard time sleeping, eating and not being completely sad each day. How much worse will it be when the legal wheels turn and I am out of this house away from the things I love. Those to me seem like dark days and almost impossible for me to picture really. Thank you for your blog and the encouragement it offers.

  2. lynette says:

    What if you can never find your safety? My traumatic marriage ended in divorce a little over a year ago, a month later my oldest child (to whom I am very close) left for college, a month after that on my birthday my mother died suddenly, and three months later, while I was still shaking literally with terror every night, my older sister died suddenly right before Christmas. It is all starting to rise now. And it is a tidal wave. I cannot handle it. There is no safe place. That’s one of the problems. I love what you wrote and I am trying to have compassion for myself. It feels impossible.

    • It is so hard when losses come one after another. This is definitely a case of the sum being greater than the parts. It starts to seem normal. Trauma becomes a part of your everyday.

      First, recognize that right now, the goal is to survive. Take care of yourself and ask for help if that becomes too much. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Don’t try to force it but don’t overlook opportunities for healing either.

      My heart goes out to you. Know that it can be better. Our greatest pains have the potential of being our greatest teachers. But there’s no getting around the fact that the lessons suck.


      • lynette says:

        Thank you for your reply. I don’t see how I get myself out. But I so appreciate your acknowledging the challenge I am faced with. Your blog is an inspiration. Thank you 🙂

  3. Thank you. This is me right now. Hid emotions for so long, I hit a wall.

  4. Christine says:

    Perfect. I don’t have the emotional scars a lot of people do, but I know they’re there. I realize them not by seeing them, but my seeing their reflections – my overreactions to other events. My extreme flinches, my instinctive evasions, my panicked lunges for sustenance. I don’t think of myself as a dog that’s been kicked too many times, but that’s how I react… right now, I’m able to view it somewhat emotionlessly. I hear Spock whispering in my ear: “Fascinating.” I want to embrace that pain, wiggle out of the scar tissue like a too-tight dress and leave it behind, but the problem is seeing it. I had no idea that scars so large could be invisible. Especially from the inside.

  5. This explains so much for me. I’m preparing to move from the family home with my kids as the wheels of divorce grind slowly through the legal system. I couldn’t figure out why it took so long to be sad about moving. I appreciate the explanation and reminder to let my feelings unfold in their time. 🙂

  6. denisekmoor says:

    I love how you laid this out Lisa! I find it true…finding a safe place to share and someone to guide you through layers can make all the difference in the world. …I was brought to the time I almost lost my son in a motorcycle accident. Although I’ve done a lot of work in a safe place, your article gave me another piece of the puzzle for healing my self…A student I will always be and never done learning, discovering and exploring. I’m grateful to have found you on this journey of life! xo

  1. November 10, 2014

    […] Often we cannot face things until we feel safe. Ready, set, face. […]

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