I Leave You With…

The wedding is just a few short days away.

We won’t be stopped by the government shutdown (even though we have had to create a backup plan to the original national park location). Nor will tropical storm Karen put a damper on our plans even if she makes us damp (here’s the one time I’m not happy about wedding dresses being white!).

As we all know, those are little things, speed bumps, but not stop signs.

We have been through much more stringent challenges to get here.

And now we’re ready.

I’m ready.

I tried on my dress the other night for the first time since I bought it a year ago. The sight made the upcoming marriage feel real. Tangible. I looked at my reflection and reflected on the last time I wore white, 14 years ago. I am no longer that woman. I am more awake, mindful of all that is. I am more aware of both the good and the potential for pain. I am more grateful for everything after losing everything. And, dare I say it, I am more excited. My first marriage felt like the inevitable conclusion to a good relationship. This marriage feels like a hard-won victory after years of facing struggle. The triumph of love over loss. Trust over betrayal. And peace over pain.

And that’s something to celebrate.

And celebrate I shall. I will be taking a hiatus from the blog and its associated platforms for the next week or so. I want to focus on my new husband. My family. And my friends.

And maybe even sneak in a nap:)

I want to spend a week celebrating where I am with no thought as to how I got here.

Even though this is certainly a case where the ends justify the means.

I’m not locking the door of the blog; please feel free to poke around and maybe even stay for awhile. There are well over 600 hundred posts here, so there’s no need to get bored:)

Please keep commenting and sharing. I’ll pick up when I get back.

But I also want to leave you with something.

Hope.

Hope that no matter how bad the pain is now, it can get better.

Hope that no matter how much you have lost, you can regain even more.

Hope that no matter how piercing the betrayal, you can learn how to trust again.

Hope that breaks heal and make you stronger than before.

Hope that you can build a new family and a new life.

Hope that you are not damaged beyond repair and that you can love and be loved.

Hope that you can be happy. Really and truly happy.

Your happy ending may look different than mine.

But picture the happy ending you want. The finish line that says you’ve completed your divorce journey.

And then walk towards it. One step at a time.

See you all soon:)

Lisa

Thank you for sharing!

20 thoughts on “I Leave You With…

  1. Words can’t express how happy I am for you, Lisa. Someday, someway , I hope that my four legged child Barat and I are walking in similar shoes as you three~ I just want to trust and love again ~ and be loved. God Bless you all and thank you for all you have done for me. Julie

  2. Congratulations to you, and I wish you a lifetime of love and laughter. Thank you for sharing your story and for offering hope, as I always welcome and need that. Cheers!

  3. Lisa, You are wished everything wonderful. You’ve worked hard and shared so much of your healing and recovery. Your words and your experience have brought hope to my heart. Thank you. Celebrate and enjoy!

  4. Let's CUT the Crap! – Canada – I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!
    Let's CUT the Crap! says:

    Congratulations. You are AWE-s.o.m.e.

  5. Winifred M. Reilly – Berkeley, CA – Winifred Reilly is a marriage and family therapist who has helped more than 1,000 couples build strong, loving relationships—no matter how frustrated they were or how long they've been stuck. She is the author of the relationship advice blog, Speaking of Marriage, and It Takes One to Tango, a book that empowers one partner in a marriage to create far-reaching positive change, whether or not their partner joins in the effort.
    Winifred M. Reilly says:

    Warm congratulations to you.
    Your open-hearted story is an inspiration to many client I see who could never imagine risking to love again.
    Many thanks.

  6. 3kids2cats1divorce – Middle aged, stay at home mom to three teenagers, with two fat house cats lounging about. Estranged spouse has moved out to have a midlife crisis. I'm figuring out who I am, how to be a single mom, and looking for a job after 18 years at home raising kids. The kids and cats just want to be fed. Update January 2015: My estranged husband is now almost my ex-husband, just waiting for the judge to sign the papers. I've gone back to college and my youngest kid has started high school, which my local school board has deemed appropriate to start at 7-frickin'-o'clock in the morning. It's been almost three years since the midlife crisis blew up my family and I'm finally seeing the light at the end of that very long tunnel.
    3kids2cats1divorce says:

    Mazel tov!

  7. Now you can start a new blog…’The Beginning of a New Life’! ‘Glottis’, Jeff and I are so happy for you! Take care, and know you always have a home in Alabama with friends to welcome you with open arms and paws.

  8. elizabeth2560 – ABOUT ALMOST SPRING Two and a half years ago my 37 year marriage ended suddenly through no choice of my own. I survived the heartache. I have taken control of my present. I am planning my own destiny, which is moving onwards to a life of purpose and meaning. This is my journey.
    elizabeth2560 says:

    Have a great wedding and a wonderful marriage.

  9. I am in tears now after reading this post. First off congrats on your newest marraige. And second thank you for the “hope” you have given me. Im looking forward to changing my ending to a happy ending. =)

  10. You are so deserving of all the happiness in the world. For you have given me and so many others so much. Words can not express the gratitude I feel towards you and your blog. You have come such a long way, my sister, and I so want to get to where you are.

    Your blog has been a blessing and I look forward to every post. I felt your pain as my relationship ended similar to yours and I am still trying to pick up the pieces and be happy about my new life.

    Thank You and Congratulations on your New Life! – Joan

  11. You are so deserving of all the happiness in the world. For you have given me and so many others so much. Words can not express the gratitude I feel towards you and your blog. You have come such a long way, my sister, and I so want to get to where you are.

    Your blog has been a blessing and I look forward to every post. I felt your pain as my relationship ended similar to yours and I am still trying to pick up the pieces and be happy about my new life.

    Thank You and Congratulations on your New Life! – Joan

  12. Wow, that was beautiful! Congratulations, and enjoy your honeymoon! 🙂

    Often, the most difficult times in our lives are blessings in disguise, because they lead to changes and opportunities that take life from mediocre to amazing.
    O

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