5 Responses

  1. This is one of your best posts (in summing up a road to healing). You may be comforted to know that, even though I had the opposite of you (meaning my ex has told me over and over WHY he left), in the end I came to the same assumptions that you did, which incidentally are no where near any of the > 30 reasons he gave me. And in the end “it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter”.

    • Nope, it doesn’t 🙂

      Thank you for saying this. I’ve often felt cheated (literally!) in that I never heard from him. Your response reinforces what my gut already knows – it doesn’t matter.

  2. Thank you for this post. I am approaching a mediation appointment in a few weeks- the first time that I will see him in over 6 months and actually talked to him in over 8+ months. I have been trying to dismiss any and all held assumptions about the separation, but those little buggers just love to muck things up, popping into conversations and daydreams/mares. I will do my best to keep those assumptions positive and view this meeting as a positive ending, not something that we both go into with boxing gloves on.

    • Good luck! It sounds hokey, but I’ve found visualization helpful with stuff like this. Picture some of the different scenarios that you think may happen. Then, see yourself responding the way you want to be. Play these in your mind. It helps to lay the groove so that when you’re in the heat of the moment, you’re more likely to slide into a previously practiced path.

  1. November 15, 2013

    […] from wanting to know why to learning how to find peace in spite of. Part of it was creating my own understanding without worry for its veracity.Some of it was realizing that if I could understand why he did what he did, it would mean that I […]

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