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Emotionally Introverted

8 Responses

  1. You’ve explained the introverted ‘personalities’ so well. I am likewise: a social introvert.

  2. reocochran says:

    I am okay if you are okay wiht this. I would have a hard time accepting this, like when I dated someone who said he would never celebrate Valentine’s Day, I said later in the relationship, “I do things for you, that you need. Please just do something minimal, make dinner or give me something little.” If i were greeted by a distracted man who I had been with for some time, I would say, “Please fake your being happy and excited to see me, because for ME (not you) I love watching hugs and people joyfully waving at each other (at train, plane, and other stations).”

    • I’m okay with it because it is still new and overwhelming to him. I’m okay with it because he is patient with me and I want to be with him. I’m okay with it because I get the affection, attention and welcoming words for days after my return. I’m okay with it because I know his feelings are true. After my ex’s lies and facade, I would rather not have Brock fake it. I’d rather wait a little while and get the real thing.

  3. cathmae says:

    During counseling sessions with my Ex, when we were still trying to save the marriage, our counselor saw and described this exact thing in him. Brock was able to articulate what was happening with him, but my Ex wasn’t, so he just blamed me like he blamed me for everything else. Not surprisingly, I did take it very personally.

    • Sorry to hear that:( It’s one of those things that does take a combination of the emotional introvert being able to recognize it and then communicate it. I know it was a rough area for Brock and I until we had that conversation. Even though he was emotionally available much of the time, I took his retreats personally. Even worse, I reacted by pursuing, which flooded him even more when he was already overwhelmed. By relating it to how I need quiet time by myself, I could completely understand it and be comfortable giving him the time/space he needed.

      I have a feeling that this is not uncommon, both the emotionally introverted part and the partners taking it personally.

  4. A good relationship is when two people want the same things. A great relationship is when two people want different things and learn to tolerate those differences.

  1. July 3, 2013

    […] shared my struggle with this issue with Brock. He can easily be overwhelmed with emotion and intimacy (issues that go back to childhood). I am […]

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