Slaying the Dragon
Regrettably, this is a metaphorical slaying only. No dragons (or ex husbands, as the case is here) were harmed in the making of this post.
It’s been a rough 24 hours after seeing my ex husband for the first time in over 3 years. I almost wish that I had called in sick to work today so that I could have taken care of myself sooner. As it was, I ended up crying at my desk for the first time since the divorce was in progress. Not exactly a good way to start the work week. Luckily, I pretty much had the tears (but not the shakes) under control by the time the kids got there.
I’m finally getting back to normal now after employing my favorite dragon-slaying strategies:
I can have a tendency to be stoic. “Oh, I’m fine,” when I’m not. Yesterday, I didn’t pretend. I told Brock exactly what I needed. I let appropriate friends know so that I could have support. I blogged about it, baring all. The messages of support that have been pouring in all day have been amazing. Strengthening. I was afraid that I would be laughed at for reacting so strongly. So far, nothing could be further from the truth. You guys are amazing.
I’m bad about this one. When I’m stressed, my body locks down and I lose all appetite. Once I don’t eat, it becomes easier to not eat. There was no way my body could tolerate food yesterday, but I made healthy, filling food a priority today. This kind of tension and anxiety burns a lot of fuel and I have to eat to stay sharp.
I’ve always used humor to deal with difficulties. In the case of my ex, most of it is dark, revolving around revenge-type fantasies. In hypothetical retrospect, here’s what I could have done yesterday:
-Posted a crowd picture (with him in it) of the festival on my website and let my readers play “Where’s Dumbo.”
-Hacked into the computer that was hooked up to a huge screen at the festival and play my Jeff Probst episode.
-Redecorate the cornhole (probably a regional name for the game, basically lawn beanbags) boards with his mugshot.
-Give the woman that was with him one of my Lessons From the End of a Marriage business cards. If it was my former wife-in-law, she’s obviously a slow learner and could use a refresher. If it was another woman, she could the head’s up.
-Give him one of my Action Potential Wellness business cards. He sure looked like he could use it. I’m embarrassed by this, but I do have to giggle at his girth. Shallow? Yes. Cliche? Yes. But still funny. He is now only a few pounds shy of the belly that his father sported that was a favorite roost for the dogs.
-The festival is in a very liberal, hipster area of town. I could have located his car and plastered it with Romney, Confederate flag and anti-gay stickers. Tee hee.
-One of my friends that was there is a CPA. He could have offered his services to my ex, as I’m sure he has not paid off the IRS from the innocent spouse relief.
-I could have waited until he entered a porta potty and “accidentally” sealed the door and perhaps even tipped it over. By day 3 of a brewery-sponsered festival, they were fairly ripe.
8+ miles of hard-pavement pounding through a beautiful neighborhood by the river. Running is so perfect for these times – it drains the energy from the body and lets the mind process. I feel restored. And sweaty.
Get your mind out of the gutter! I’m not talking about that kind of banging (not that it isn’t a critical component of dragon-slaying:) ). I’m talking here about head banging – AKA heavy metal. I can just hear my mom on this this one, “Oh Lisa,” shaking her head, “You should listen to calming music. Metal will only make you more anxious.” Nope, sorry mom. You’re wrong. I find when I am ramped up, trying to force calm just backfires (my morning meditation today would have been more at home on the heavy bag). Instead, I need to feed the energy so that I can bleed the energy. Pantera and Disturbed fit the bill nicely today.
And now for the final stage in slaying the dragon. I’ve released the energy, fueled the body and relaxed the mind. Now it’s time to rest and lay the dragon to rest. Hopefully for good.