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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Three Years Ago Today

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Three years ago today, I sat in a courtroom with the man I had spent half of my life with.

Three years ago today, I looked at his face for any sign of the man I had loved.  I saw none.

Three years ago today, I sat alone in a hallway waiting for the attorneys to decide his fate and mine.

Three years ago today, I cried and shook with the realization that is was all over.

Three years ago today, I felt a heaviness lift as I cut the dead weight of him from my burden.

Three years ago today, I took my first steps as a single woman.

And now, three years on, I could not not be happier with where I am.

And, I could not be where I am without three years ago today.

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32 thoughts on “Three Years Ago Today

  1. I often wonder whether it is really necessary for us to go through certain experiences to learn certain lessons.

    And though those experiences leave us scarred they are important for our growth.

    yes you have been through hell, yes i know you have cried days at end, yes i know you didn’t know if there could if life henceforth and yes i even know that you have survived and now you smile.

    And it is now that you can see that it was all a part of the plan. I believe you when you say that you are happy now.

    Because really there is no other way to be is there?

  2. Letting go of the burden makes a huge difference. Being happy and looking after your happiness is vital. I have been where you were, and it wasn’t a happy place. We learn lessons from all our life experiences and I am so pleased you are happy with where you are now.

    1. It’s strange. I felt so utterly alone on that day. Yet, it is a day that so many can relate to. I’m sorry you’ve been there and I hope you see the light on the other side:)

  3. Congratulations on your three year freedomversary! My kids used to ask me all the time if I wish I had never married their father, and my answer was and still is a resounding, “No!” If I hadn’t married him, I would not have my two amazing children, who are worth every moment of pain and suffering. You are now a force to be reckoned with, thanks to all the crap you managed to survive.

    1. Even without kids, I also do not expend energy wishing I did not marry him. Instead, I choose to focus on what happens now. It’s foolish to seek out pain, but it’s equally as foolish to always try to avoid it.

      Glad you have your kiddos to remind you of the beauty that can come from pain:)

  4. A saying that comes to mind from your post…. and that helped me through my rough years….

    “A year of pain will teach you far more than a lifetime of comfort”.

    So imagine what you learned and how much you grew through that x 3 🙂

    Pain is no laughing matter, neither is betrayal or divorce, yet, when they become realities served up to us, we may as well take advantage of what they offer.

  5. I’m about to go through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. This made me feel positive about totally being on my own.

  6. “I could not be where I am without three years ago today.” – That’s what I’ve been saying as well…literally three years ago for me too when we separated, and NO REGRETS! Congrats on getting through it. You are awesome!

  7. Those are some heavy words and they resonate with me also. it was ten years ago for me and I went through many of the same thoughts as you. Now…ten years later, I am happier, healthier and more excited about my future than ever! Swwweeeet! : )

  8. Congratulations! I’m so proud of you for seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and that there is hope for a better life if only you keep walking. Divorce is traumatic but there is always a way to rise above the ashes and rebuild yourself into a more fabulous you. 🙂 Thanks for shining that light for new divorcees!

  9. Oh this gives me so much hope. I have spent 23 years with a woman who has ignored me, not appreciated me, and who has sponged off of me. NO MORE. I finally stood up and left. 3 weeks ago. Best decision I ever made. Can’t wait to stand in front of the judge. I’ve been done for years. I am reading a lot of your blog right now. This story made me smile. I know deep down I made the right call.

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