Pandora’s Envelope

20 Responses

  1. It is a strange feeling that envelopes your heart and mind when you look through photos of the past and of the person who caused so much grief and anguish. I too have a huge pandora’s box which I look through sometimes to check how far I have come in my journey of healing. The last time I checked, I just felt a pang of anger and also confidence at how much I have achieved since then, professionally and also personally.

  2. Glad to hear that it’s no longer traumatic for you to look at those.

  3. heidi says:

    Do you know what was left at the end, in Pandora ‘s box? Hope.

  4. Brett says:

    I have a folder too. It’s a folder on my hard drive with hundreds of photos. I’m not ready yet but I am so thankful that you wrote this. When the time comes I will read this again. As always, much love to you.

  5. Beautifully written, because of your honesty and your ability to truly look at your own feelings and memories. So many of us have been in similar situations, thanks for sharing.

  6. It’s hard for me to look at photos of my life with my husband that were taken during the 7 years he was being unfaithful. I’ve taken all of them down in my house. Every once in awhile I’ll come across one on my Mac when I’m careless about going into my file system. I’d like to get rid of them all but I don’t think my kids would appreciate it.

    • That is tricky with kids. I resisted the urge to destroy all the pictures. Although I now know that he was living another life in some, they still capture a 16 year span of my life. I refuse to simply throw that away. I’ve reached kind of a truce with the past. I look at with the memories of that time, when I did not know of his deceptions, rather than see it with the knowing eyes of today.

  7. blogventer says:

    You were very brave. I admire your honesty — envy it, even — when dealing with your past memories. It’s like you’re beyond the triggers. Very cool. 🙂

  8. Yes, i have started to look at my photographs as well. My ex wants copies and I either do the copying, or he wants half. I decided that I would copy. About a month ago I had a terrible Saturday as I started and thought that I would never be able to do it. Then after picking up a link on another blog for some unknown reason I played ‘Let It Be’ by the Beatles over and over and over. The next day, i was able to look at them. . It does not hurt quite so much, and I am looking back with fondness of the times we had with the children. .

  9. reocochran says:

    I think that a lot of life can be spent looking back with regret. I think you have a positive attitude where you can look with a sense of nostalgia and some sadness, but you also have shown you can keep moving forward. This is so important to pass on to the ones still stuck in the “not able to disconnect” stage or the “not feeling anything” stage. Your words will bring comfort in a way you will never know. Thank you!

    • Thanks:) My goal was to get to that point. I didn’t want to pretend as though that huge piece of my life never occurred, but I also didn’t want to linger in the past. I think I did the smart thing by avoiding the pictures until I could face them without falling in.

  1. March 24, 2013

    […] may seem as though I have slain all of the demons from my past. I can look at pictures without tears. I’m no longer fueled by anger. I have let myself find forgiveness. I have learned how to […]

  2. May 27, 2014

    […] I finally realized this year that keeping those boxes in my classroom is pretty much the equivalent of keeping my old wedding photos on my wall. […]

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