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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce


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13 thoughts on “Forgiveness

  1. Don’t I know it… . For a hard-headed person like me, acceptance is the exact opposite of those things that run – or used to run – my world. But I agree on what you’re saying. *sigh*.

  2. I need to make this my mantra. Forgiveness is scary for me, I’m scared that my husband will think what he did was okay. I love the difference between approval and acceptance. I don’t approve but really I have no choice but to accept it.

    1. There is a huge difference between accepting what happened and excusing what happened. It takes time to sort out the distinctions, however. I hope the mantra helps:)

  3. Yes, acceptance, not approval. A tough distinction to see when we are in pain. I for one was reluctant to give forgiveness feeling it was an endorsement for what they did. My internal dialogue told me that if I did, she would have got away with what she did… it would have invalidated my hurt… (and self-pity that was trying to prolong and multiply the genuine hurt). But acceptance is completely different. And extremely freeing!

    1. I used to see it as an endorsement too. I felt like he had gotten away with everything and if I forgave him, I was only other entity not holding him responsible. Of course, that belief only shackled me to the past. I love the freedom in acceptance:)

  4. Agreed. Except that I would say ‘acknowledgement’, rather than ‘acceptance’, because acceptance carries a hint of agreement with it, whereas to acknowledge is just to admit that it has happened. .

    1. Interesting. I can see that connotation to acceptance. To me, “acknowledgement” has a bit of “yes, but” to it. Perhaps a blend of the two? But that would be difficult to spell:)

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