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Fear of Commitment?

9 Responses

  1. Chico says:

    I find I don’t have a fear of a monogamous relationship (commitment), and have had no problem with that; in fact it’s been wonderful for the last several months. But I have also made myself a promise to never get married again (commitment) after doing it 3 times. Marriage makes the eventual separation so difficult and painful. It’s not that I have a fear of marriage, just a healthy respect for what can happen. Kinda like giving a grizzly bear in the wild plenty of room, and staying down wind from them.

    I think it’s unfair to say that if a guy doesn’t want to get married that he has a fear of commitment. It might just mean that he has a deeper respect for himself and the other person than to promise “forever” when he knows there’s really no such thing.

    • Marriage as a grizzly bear:)

    • Kay Brandly says:

      The end of a serious, long-term relationship is also traumatic even if it wasn’t a marriage. A divorce can feel more like a public failure and sometimes there is a stigma, so get that is an added layer of pain, not to mention the complexities of sorting out shared assets. But separating from any love relationship is painful and difficult.

  2. I am sure after a break-up we all move in and out of all the thoughts on your post; and some of us remain there forever – good or bad.
    It also depends at what stage of life you are in, whether you have had children or not, and what type of relationship you previously enjoyed (or didn’t). That is, whether there had always been issues of control, or instead whether someone simply went ‘AWOL’ – out of character – and so did not hinder your underlying self-belief.

    In my case, I have now tasted freedom, and I think at the moment that that is something that i would not give up; so that is where I fit into your categories above.

  3. Special Ed. says:

    Reblogged this on Special 2 Me and commented:
    Good read.

  4. Kay Brandly says:

    Sometimes people don’t commit because they are aware that they can’t. It isn’t necessarily an issue of fear.

  5. Chico says:

    After 3 marriages over 38 years, I can’t afford another divorce at my age. Hence I cannot afford to ever get married again.

  1. July 5, 2014

    […] Fear of Commitment? […]

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