Ever Been Told, “You Shouldn’t Feel That Way?”

15 Responses

  1. blogventer says:

    Yes, this is the game that my husband and parents have tried to play with me — my husband, so that he doesn’t have to deal with my anger over recently having discovered his 14-year affair, and my parents, because they don’t understand why I would be THAT upset. (“It was only an emotional affair,” they say.) And because they don’t want me to get divorced. (My mom keeps chalking my anger/depression up to mid-life hormones. How frustrating is THAT?)

    The plus-side is that I now understand a whole, new facet of emotions, and I’m much more empathetic toward people’s reactions.

    • I’ve been contemplating a post about the upside of betrayal and the number one benefit would be increased empathy. I’m thankful to have it I just wish the price wasn’t so high!

      • blogventer says:

        It totally changes who we are/were, doesn’t it? I have to believe that I’ll come out of this battle-scarred, but stronger. A better me. And as for you, look at all the people you’re helping now, that you wouldn’t have been able to help if he hadn’t damaged you like he did. Maybe it’s twisted to look at the positives this way, since we wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone, but how about this: in math, positives can never become negatives, but negatives can become positives. (? — okay, maybe that was lame….) 😉

        • Not lame at all…as a math teacher, I give you an A+ for that one:).

          As for looking at the positives, I think we need to. I think it’s important to acknowledge the pain but also believe that good can come from it.

  2. Jen says:

    You are a very strong and insightful gal! I like the way you think.

  3. Thanks for this post. I’ve been told I over react by family members and my ex used to say that a lot, too. It’s very hurtful when people closest to you do not acknowledge your feelings as legitimate. I like your examples of your students. Helping the heart while the head catches up is also great advice.

  4. Rosalynn Williams says:

    I’ve been caught in this trap. The blaming me for my negative reaction/behavior and in the same breath asking for only positivity from me. I question everything…is it really my fault…all the should of…could of’s…i was convinced that everything he said was true. I admit, all these feelings/ emotions have changed my outlook on everything. I NEVER thought it would happen to me.

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