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Releasing a Dream

10 Responses

  1. Man I just love everything you write! I have a crush on a friend who’s also a client at work. I keep telling myself if it’s meant to be it will work itself out, yadda yadda but really it’s not going to work itself out, is it? I need to take the plunge and tell this dude how I feel. Bah. Romance is so much easier in movies. 🙂

  2. blogventer says:

    “Of course, friends don’t always know what’s best. Mine encouraged my fantasies about Adam:)” –> Okay, first of all, good friends encourage dreams, even when they’re crazy-dreams, just because sometimes we need to dream, and they want to support us. Secondly…. they were 13! 😛

    Also, you faced SUCH an extreme and cruel situation when your husband left. Your dream of growing old with him was NOT unreasonable. It sounds as though you are blaming yourself for not having seen this coming, and I feel so bad for you, if this is what you are doing to yourself. There was no way you could have known ahead of time that he was going to do what he did. Your recovery from this is nothing short of incredible and heroic. Please know that you are such an inspiration to me, and to others, and that you have zero blame in that scenario. You were a victim, and you changed that into being a survivor. I’m humbled to be blog-friends with you.

    • Happy to be blog buds with you as well:)

      I hope I didn’t give the impression that I was blaming myself or that I was ‘wrong’ to have the dream of growing old together. That dream was normal and rational while we were together. However, it would have been irrational and damaging for me to hold on to that dream after he disappeared, making it clear that there would be no “us” going forward. That’s where reality and dream clashed.

  3. reocochran says:

    We all have crushes but the way you wrote about how to get your mind to take charge was great! I think that getting to the bottom of the situation, the reality is so hard. There are so many layers and the older you get, the more ability to fake the truth becomes evident. I think after 7 months with a man who told me lots of things that were his version of the truth, some out and out lies and very little real person, I finally figured out who he was. I can be his friend, but I won’t waste time trying to find the persona he presented at first. It is like all the shine wore off him. And here I am at fifty plus years still trying to figure out who is going to fit me. I am so glad that you are ahead of the game years-wise and can use your knowledge to base the future partner with.

  4. katyloveless says:

    Great post, Lisa, thanks for this. The dreams of growing old together, exactly what I was mourning with a friend last night. The need to let go? Well, it speaks to the adult in me (somewhere!) but my inner child is still screaming ‘I don’t want tooooooo!!!’ I’m still crushing after 25 yrs and being totally crushed 🙁 But your writing keeps me positive x

  5. Lehua says:

    Ah, so very apropos for me right now. Thank you for clearly defining a plan of action for me. It was in my brain but having someone else write it out really clarifies it all.

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