Opening the Journal

28 Responses

  1. Those three sections was brilliant thinking…..glad that you did that. Kudos to you for your brains and your heart 🙂

  2. Bravo for sharing. You are courageous.

  3. Brett C. says:

    I applaud your courage. Then and now. Thank you for your willingness to share something so very personal and raw.

  4. Thank you for sharing, I hope to get to a similar place eventually.

  5. Julie L. says:

    OM…this could easily be my journal. Thank you so much for sharing. Through my sharing my story, I have been able to help 2 people who had similar situations. I feel like I’m in the middle or closer to the end of my journey to being healed, but I’m glad I’m not in the beginning anymore. Thanks for validating how I felt early on.

    • And thank you for using your story to help others. I think too often, once people are out of the early stages, they move on and never look back or talk about their journey. It would be wonderful if we all would extend a hand to those behind us.

      I’m glad to hear you’ve made it through the worst of it:)

  6. This is so similar to my journal especially the anger and then the hope of moving on and coming to terms with the fears of being abandoned and rejected again. I hope to reach the place where you are today…the efforts of reaching there are given every second of the day and yes, I am proud of where I have reached today. But that said I still have a long way to go….

  7. tuanjuan_ says:

    very brave. even i, being divorced for two times dont have the courage to post my journal. they all kept in my treasure chest…thank you for showing this to all the people in the world.

  8. This was amazing! I found myself nodding through the whole thing, saying ‘yes’ me too. Thank you so much for putting this out there!

  9. Karen Taylor says:

    Stuck in fear. I’m in the phase where you know it’s over and things are not going to get better, but you’re not ready to face the end. You play his manipulation game, wishing the charm could last, but it doesn’t. And anger, denial and fear tussle daily trying keep the inevitable at bay, it’s a scary place. Thanks for sharing. I wish I could jump over the years after the separation/.divorce and be at the place where the dulled pain is and the sun shines again. I’m scared to go through the forest. I may not survive, I may go insane. It’s been too much held down for too long. When it comes up, will I be able to handle so much? Will things break? Will it just be my heart that breaks is the question that makes my knees shake.

    • Hugs, lady. You are stronger and more resilient than you can imagine. It is so scary facing the pain. The loss. It ‘s leaving what you know for what is still unknowable. Trust that you can make it through and then just focus on the next step.

  10. Haze Pin says:

    Almost a year later and when people ask why am I not married it’s still hard to come up with an answer that doesn’t require a 300 page story. I wish I had thought to journal in a handwritten way. I think it would had been more helpful. I have a journal on my phone I kept but I spent more time writing only angry entries in it.

    • Are you still journaling on your phone?

      I actually had my mom help me with a two sentence “elevator speech” about my situation. I then practiced it until I could say it without tears and without the stomach plummeting. It was helpful:)

      • Haze Pin says:

        Yes! I still journal on my phone from time to time. I’m a chronic screenshotter so a lot of my entries are based on the screenshots I take. I try to write a mix of happy things in there too but it’s much easier to use it as a venting tool. It does make me feel better after.

  11. nsymns says:

    Hi Lisa,

    I’m working myself up to reading your journal pages. It’s THAT huge of a thing I know you went through, because I too, have been there & am nowhere near feeling recovered or healed or I’d settle for ok…..I’d jump up & down to be ok & believe it.
    Bookmarking this for myself & I get your emails now, of which I’m so grateful to have found you.
    I’m also so glad your parents were with you at this tragic time. I was alone, & still am over 5 years later.
    Family & most friends disappeared as my depression worsened. I’m both glad & very saddened at the loss this has caused me, which was purposely targeted at me to weaken me more in hopes I’d take my own life. I say that in all honesty, while still trembling knowing it as fact~but, I’m no longer embarrassed or feel shameful to tell my story as some have made me feel. It’s my story, & my truths as I know them now & discovered them through the years.
    This alone is hard to type, writing it would be illegible to myself or you.
    Thank you for sharing such a “beast” that was your friend in the end, so to speak….your words raw and unrehearsed as they were at such an unthinkable time.
    I appreciate what you’re doing for so many like us. It truly is the worst thing I could ever imagine when I will manage to tell “my story”, too.

    Be well, healthy & prosper.
    Thank you, Lisa 💜


  1. July 28, 2014

    […] I got on medication to help with the sleeping and eating. I started journaling at this time; the early entries are difficult to read. By this point, I had just learned of the bigamy and the energy spent with the police and criminal […]

  2. November 10, 2014

    […] journal I kept in those early months after he left is warped and torn. Not from age. But from the force of my […]

  3. March 15, 2019

    […] a peek into my post-divorce journal. It’s raw. And it’s […]

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: