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Anniversaries That Aren’t

24 Responses

  1. Nice flip to it–the as-it-is 3. Thinking of you. Yes, non-anniversaries are a wierd space.

  2. radaronelson says:

    It is difficult but as you have said each year does get easier. BTW you looked stunning in that picture.

  3. I want to be like you when I grow up!! You are strong and inspiring!! Thank you for your writing!!

  4. Melanie says:

    My ex and I didn’t celebrate our last anniversary together. He forgot and I didn’t mention it. That day passed with no recognition. I think that helped make it easier to ignore it the next year when we were in the middle of divorcing.

  5. Chico says:

    My soon to be ex left on our 13th anniversary, 7 months ago. It’s been a difficult transition, but with good life-changing results.

    • Left on the anniversary? Ouch. On the bright side, you can get both of those anniversaries done at the same time:) I have two days – one in July and the one in December.

      You’re exactly right – it is a difficult transition, especially for those of us who didn’t choose it, but we can choose to create wonderful things from it! 🙂

  6. I understand the pain completely. Perhaps not the level the same as yours, since we were only married for almost 4 years, but still. He texted me on what would’ve been our 4 year marriage anniversary, and I broke down and lost it. It was my choice to leave him, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less- probably more so since I was planning on forever. I made myself leave the house and had a massage and manicure that day. I turned it into a somewhat good day- my anti-anniversary day.

  7. Thank you for sharing that you stayed in the guest room and cried! I’ve been doing that lately (10 months separated and long divorce road ahead) and as painful as it is, it feels like just the right thing to be doing!

    I am so happy that things are getting better for you each year.

  8. dodlebug says:

    My ex and I seperated in April, our ten year anniversary would have been this past August 17. I, like you, did not leave my bed. I remember nothing more than laying in a comatose state, heart saddened and heavy, and not allowing my mind to think about what the day would have been like. Like you for sharing your experience. This is my first Christmas without my husband but I am excited to travel to another state to spend the holidays with my son with is in the Air Force. With time, we learn to focus our hearts on the things that matter today, but it is nice to read anothers experience and to know you are not alone. Merry Christmas to you and yours, and happy anniversary of a life and heart alive.

  9. reocochran says:

    Thanks for a thoughtful post. I think you may think this is interesting: My 13th year of marriage, I literally lost the diamond out of my setting, my ex lost his car to repossession, 2 of his little diamonds fell out of his ring and we had almost our 3rd year with my 2 incomes of teaching and serving tables to try to hold onto our house! We managed that year to sell it for $50,000 under market value, divorce and live separately in one bedroom apartments! I never believed in bad luck! or numbers meaning anything! I am so much happier now that we are apart, divorced and only talking once a month. It is almost 7 years of “new life” for me. Best wishes, blessings and love for the holidays for you and your family.

  10. Gioia says:

    Mine was just yesterday. And I found my self being stronger. When I was at work I broke down…… But I have a second thought why should I let the past to control my present. So I became stronger again. It hurt because yesterday makes it two years of marriage. But am happy today because every disappointment is a blessing…..

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